Joshua Bassett recalled experiencing suicidal ideation in his debut poetry book, Rookie: My Public, Private and Secret Life.
“Though I walked out of the hospital miraculously healed, my road to recovery was far from a straight line,” Bassett, 25, wrote in a poem titled “Mom, I think I’m Dying” about his 2021 health scare. “As my life fell apart, I spiraled into suicidal ideation, nearly killing myself with ketamine.”
Bassett was hospitalized for heart failure and septic shock in January 2021 weeks after his 20th birthday. Earlier that month, Bassett’s High School Musical: The Musical: The Series costar Olivia Rodrigo dropped her debut single, “Drivers License,” about an ex who moved on with a “blonde girl.” Fans immediately theorized Bassett was the ex in question and that the blonde was seemingly a reference to Sabrina Carpenter. (Rodrigo, 23, does not publicly reveal her musical inspiration.)
In his poem, Bassett recalled being at the “center of a social media firestorm” when he experienced his health scare. After he was eventually discharged from the hospital, Bassett coped with his pain by using drugs.
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“At rock bottom, I had an encounter with God that gave me the peace I’d sought all my life, redefining what matters most: not success or survival — but to love and be loved,” he added.
Bassett further detailed his past suicidal thoughts in another poem titled, “On the Edge of the Third Story Balcony.”
“I gazed down at the Burbank street, praying I would fall,” the verse began. “I wouldn’t dare do it myself but I couldn’t take it anymore — my life was a living hell and I wanted to die.”
He continued, “I went from relatively stable and secure to nearly ending it all in a matter of minutes. The shame, fear, pain and paranoia swept in like a tidal wave, knocking me off my feet, drowning me in a hell-hole of hopelessness.”
According to Bassett, he stood on the balcony in search of “relief.”
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“I wanted to live,” he wrote. “After a few too many minutes of feet dangling, as my tears hit the street below, I came to my senses and called a friend who quite literally talked me off the ledge. Soon, the pain subsided, my thoughts quieted down and I was able to see clearly again.”
Later in the poetry book, Bassett revealed that he called his dad and pleaded to help him “accept Jesus.”
“I literally can not express to you the peace that I felt in that moment. Every path I was going down looking for peace I found the moment I accepted Jesus,” the singer previously said on the Zach Sang Show in August 2024. “Despite mocking God in interviews, despite me saying ‘That’s totally wrong, my family is crazy.’ I thought my family was dumb. I thought every Christian was dumb… and then I had an encounter with the actual, living God.”
Rookie: My Public, Private, and Secret Life is available now.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.
