Christina Applegate revealed she got an abortion at age 19 in her debut memoir, You With the Sad Eyes.
“In late April 1991, I fell pregnant. I want to turn away from what happened, but it’s all recorded in my diary,” Applegate, 54, wrote in the book published on Tuesday, March 3. “There are moments in my life that are too painful to force into narrative or meaning, so I’ll let my voice from back then speak.”
Throughout the memoir, Applegate included entries from the diaries she’s kept throughout her life. In 1991, she wrote that “too many emotions are filling my soul” regarding the pregnancy.
“I always felt that if I ever got pregnant when I knew it was the wrong time, I wouldn’t have any problem having an abortion,” she wrote, noting that the fetus was “incredible” and made her feel “safe.”
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Applegate was in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend at the time. He is not named in the tell-all.
“I don’t really understand my relationship anymore. It isn’t good,” her diary entry read. “Sometimes I don’t think it’s worth it.”
One day after discovering her pregnancy, Applegate recalled things taking “a brutal turn.” She decided to get an abortion.
“I’m f***ing pregnant and I’m killing my child on Thursday. I’m thinking where the f*** can I go to recuperate from murder,” she wrote. Applegate claimed her boyfriend’s family would “hate” her when they found out. The actress explained that it wasn’t the right time for her to become a mother.
“I can’t have this baby because I have work to do to entertain this f***ing world,” she shared. (Applegate was starring as Kelly Bundy on Married … With Children at the time.)
A separate diary entry detailed the aftermath of her procedure, which took place on June 13, 1991.
“I feel pretty OK. Just kind of woozy. That gives me no time to realize what I have done,” she wrote. “Which is most likely the best right now.”
Throughout the memoir, Applegate chronicled the ups and downs she experienced with her abusive boyfriend. Applegate was honest when she came to discussing how she often went back — even though she knew it was a bad situation.
One Christmas, Applegate brought her now-ex to her grandmother’s home in Indiana. When things apparently got physical, her mom, Nancy Priddy, put a stop to it. Applegate recalled calling him an “a**hole” before he allegedly pulled her out of the bathroom.
“He comes barging in, grabs me around the neck, and drags me by my legs across the hallway, back to the bedroom, where the lights are still out,” she wrote. “There he pins me to the bed, my pants still around my ankles. He’s livid, lost to his anger, shaking with rage, fuming and foaming as though his life is on the line.”
Her family members were “horrified” and called the police. Applegate did not press charges, and her boyfriend was taken to a motel. She went with him, much to the dismay of her mother. Things allegedly escalated once again.
“I hear him punch the mirror, hear the shattering glass. I watch as he brings out a shard,” Applegate recalled. “I feel something cold on my neck.”
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Applegate wrote that she was “calm” during the entire situation. The boyfriend allegedly made her undress and “get on top of him.” Instead of doing anything, he let her leave.
“He seemed to take pleasure in making me truly believe he was going to kill me,” Applegate speculated in the book. “My all-consuming fear appeared to satisfy him.”
While they stayed together, there was one final incident that led to the end of their relationship. During a fight, he poured an “entire bottle of tequila” down her throat. Before she got “severe alcohol poisoning,” Applegate called the bodyguard she had recently hired.
“He found my boyfriend sitting on the couch as though nothing had happened, and me mostly unconscious, in and out and incoherent,” she wrote. “Each of my breaths was apparently separated by an eternity, he told me later.”
Following their split, Applegate went on to have several relationships, some of which are detailed in the book. She married current husband Martyn LeNoble in 2013. They share daughter Sadie, 15.
You With the Sad Eyes is out now.
