In his latest memoir, Robert Klose revisits a topic he’s written about before — the challenges of adopting a son from the former Soviet Union.
The University of Maine professor penned a book about his first experience, Adopting Alyosha, in the 1990s. His newest book, Adopting Anton, recounts a similar emotional and legal process he went through years later to adopt his second son.
In the newer memoir, released in 2022, Klose shows how time and circumstance — two inevitable “rivers of life” — always seem to meet one another. When joined, they can cause heartache, frustration and sometimes unbounded joy.
The current war in Ukraine, where Klose adopted Anton 20 years ago, makes this story even more important. Klose describes the angst and “rabbit-hole” bureaucracy he faced as a single man wanting to adopt a boy from overseas, and encounters cultural challenges that remain relevant today.
The story told is that of societal ways, determination and ultimately love. It is a story that in some ways mirrors his journey a decade earlier of adopting Alyosha in Russia.
Klose teaches at the University of Maine. His work has appeared in The Christian Science Monitor, Newsweek, the Boston Globe, and in various literary magazines. He is the author of eight books, including his latest novel, Trigger Warning. He is a four-time winner of the Maine Press Association’s annual award for opinion writing.
Adopting Anton was a finalist in the Maine Literary Awards.
Adopting Anton begins with Klose asking his first adopted son, who at the time is 13 years old, about the possibility of adding a second child to the family. His son’s initial response: “Dad, don’t you think it works just fine with the two of us?” A year later, he tells his father: “Maybe it would be a good idea to get another kid.”
What was it that changed his son’s opinion? “So that, when I leave someday, you won’t be lonely,” the boy said.
With the decision now in hand, Klose begins the process at the same place where he began the first adoption, at an agency in New Mexico. After he realizes that Ukraine may be the best place to start this new journey, it comes to a grinding halt with the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. In the aftermath Klose continues the process as he travels amidst heightened security that at many times seems surreal from the United States to Ukraine.
“If there was any anxiety at this juncture, it lay in the realization that the little boy we would adopt — whoever he was — was already born and living in an institution somewhere in impoverished Ukraine. The only thing he lacked was the embrace of a loving family. I wanted to get him home as soon as possible.”
The 33 compact chapters are signposts of a journey taken adeptly, capturing a travelog of both time and circumstance. It is a journey that covers a vast geography of emotion and bureaucratic landscapes. It is a journey wrought with emotion, unexpected surprises and even the rare comic relief that in retrospect was necessary to endure and make it all worthwhile.
This story is a journey of trains covering vast swaths of territory; judges and town councils; bureaucracy laden with the unexpected; chaos amidst quiet interludes of reflection; goodbyes and hellos; first days, school and obsessions tangled up in tears; support and translations and a child’s first glimpse of the familiar in his new home — “Mac-don-ucks!” (McDonald’s)
As one reviewer stated, Adopting Anton is more about hope than anything else. “Single women have a long and successful track record as adoptive parents, but single men seeking to adopt have had a tougher time of it. And yet the need for role models in this regard exists, if for no other reason than to offer hope to those men who want to adopt but are daunted by the seeming immensity of the challenge.”
In the end, the book for me in many respects mirrors that of a play in both character and dialogue. The experience a reader can have is like finding their seat and becoming part and parcel to the play. The theater lights have dimmed, and the many actors come and go delivering their lines, carrying forward the emotive elements of an intricate and delicate system that is adoption. The narrative is clear about that. Yet, as in many plays, love and persistence overcome all and are what makes this book essential and a joy to have read.
Adopting Anton: A Single Man Seeks a Son in Ukraine
By Robert Klose
Acute By Design Publisher, 2022, softcover $15.95