If you’ve ever googled “am I a terrible mom or just tired” chances are you’ve ultimately landed in the calm, comforting world of Dr. Becky Kennedy at Good Inside — and if you haven’t yet, ask Kristen Bell, Gigi Hadid, Blake Lively or pretty much any parent you know.
The clinical-psychologist-turned-parenting-expert has more than 3 million Instagram followers who turn to her when parenting gets rough — whether it’s kids hitting their siblings, refusing to go to sleep or getting into daily standoffs over disappointing snacks — and many of them are seriously A-list.
Chrissy Teigen, is the latest star to make regular moms extremely jealous by getting personal access to the guru, spending an hour chatting to her for the June 25 episode of her podcast, “Self Conscious.” Teigen, 39, who shares Luna, 9, Miles, 7, Esti and Wren, both 2, with singer John Legend, took to Instagram afterwards to rave about Kennedy.
“Oh man. I could nottt wait for this talk with Dr.Becky!” she wrote. “Of course, the conversation centered around parenting and all its ups and downs, but I didn’t realize that so much of our convo would bring me back to my own childhood. I didn’t grow up with a lot of emotional mirroring — no one really reflected back my sadness or joy — so now, learning to do that for my kids sometimes feels…a bit foreign at times. But boy do I f***ing do it. Because I want to raise kids who feel seen, safe, and sure of themselves.” She added that the conversation had her “laughing, crying and realizing that parenting isn’t about perfection.”
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Earlier in June, Kennedy also appeared on Khloé Kardashian’s “Khloé in Wonderland” podcast, on the topic of “Raising Resilient Kids, Setting Limits and Mom Guilt.” Kardashian, 41 — who has two kids: daughter True, 7, and son Tatum, 2 — told Kennedy that her phone “lit up like a Christmas tree” when she told her circle that she was meeting with her.
It seems this academic (and mother of three kids herself) is one of the few names out there who can get even the most famous people in the world feeling seriously starstruck. And it’s been a rapid rise: in March 2020, she had just 200 Instagram followers when she posted some wise words that ended up going viral: “Most young kids will remember how their family home felt during the coronavirus panic more than anything specific about the virus. Our kids are watching us and learning about how to respond to stress and uncertainty. Let’s wire our kids for resilience, not panic.”
So, why does Kennedy’s brand of wisdom resonate so much with millennial celebrity moms and dads? In the ‘80s and ‘90s it seemed like stars outsourced all things parenting to fleets of nannies, or at the very least subscribed to strict, structured self-styled gurus like Gina Ford, famous worldwide for her “controlled crying” techniques. Now, they’re nodding knowingly when Kennedy says things like “Kids are born with all the feelings but none of the skills to manage the feelings” and showing the world that they are advocates for the brand of kind, gentle but “sturdy” parenting that Kennedy promotes. Unlike the old-school parenting playbooks full of sticker charts and consequences, Dr. Becky’s approach is more therapist-meets-bestie.
Well, celebrities are a lot more warm and fuzzy these days in general than they were a few decades ago. Now, thanks to social media, we know them — or at least feel like we do. Following Dr. Becky at Good Inside — Amy Schumer, James Van Der Beek, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ashley Graham and Reese Witherspoon are also on the long list — shows the world that they’re not shallow, disinterested parents who are raising messed-up nepo babies, but that they really care. And when we see these stars endorsing Kennedy’s philosophies and techniques by engaging with her online, we realize that celebrity kids aren’t perfect robo-children, they’re just as messy and complicated as our own regular kids. There’s something reassuring and comforting in realizing that even the genetically-blessed offspring spawned by Grammy winning musicians and gazillionaire supermodels still get angry when their Switch is taken away or throw a tantrum when their cucumber is cut the wrong way.
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It helps that Kennedy, unlike many of the colder, sometimes more patronizing “experts” dispensing wisdom online, is super likeable. She’s eager to emphasize that her own kids aren’t perfect either, and she delivers her advice and ideas with the warm energy of your most emotionally intelligent girlfriend. She’s built her mini-empire — her Good Inside platform offers online workshops and her book of the same name is a New York Times bestseller — around the concept that all kids are “good inside,” even when they’re scribbling on the walls or biting the dog. And of course, that’s going to particularly appeal to high-profile parents who are worried their kids are growing up with privileges they didn’t necessarily experience themselves.
Mostly, though, stars love Dr. Kennedy for the same reason as the rest of Us: she makes you feel like you haven’t completely ruined your child just because you lost it over a yogurt tube. Bell and Graham have talked about using her methods to manage their kids’ big feelings, but that advice works just as well for the average overstimulated parent hiding in the bathroom scrolling Instagram while secretly eating a cookie. And while her advice is psychologically grounded, it’s also refreshingly non-judgmental. She doesn’t shame. She doesn’t roll her eyes. She reminds you that you’re good inside, too — even if you said “fine, have the iPad” before 7 a.m because you downed one too many frozen margs last night.
In a parenting world full of extremes — tiger moms, free-range kids, competitive Pinterest lunchboxes — Dr. Becky offers something radical: calm, compassionate, middle-ground sanity. No wonder the celebs are into her. No wonder the rest of Us are, too.
