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Wayne Maines is a husband and father, a veteran, an activist and co-founder of The Dads Foundation.
Fourteen years ago, I stood in the Maine State House and told a story I never imagined myself telling as a conservative father. I spoke about what it was like to raise a transgender daughter in a world that didn’t understand her.
I’m speaking out again now to urge legislators to reject anti-transgender bills that threaten the rights that gave my daughter hope and that helped me become the father she needed.
At age 14, my kids Jonas and Nicole went on Maine Public Radio to talk about their fear that someone might hurt Nicole simply for being herself.
I didn’t always get it. I come from a background of conservative values. I believed in tradition, in discipline, and in keeping your head down and pushing through. I didn’t think transgender kids were real. I doubted the doctors, I doubted the counselors, I even doubted my wife. But I never doubted my love for my child. And when I saw Nicole’s pain, I had to ask myself hard questions about what I believed.
Ultimately, through conversations with medical professionals trained to help families like mine, we reached a decision together: Nicole needed to live fully as herself. Their guidance was invaluable, but this was our family’s choice to make. And so we supported her. Not because it was easy. Not because it aligned with my politics. But because it was right.
That day at the State House, I was scared. But I was also proud. Proud of my kids for their courage. Proud to be their father. And proud, eventually, of the lawmakers in Maine who chose compassion over cruelty. They listened. They asked questions. They protected equality.
That vote helped save my daughter’s life and gave both of my kids the belief that they had a future.
Today, Nicole is a writer and actress. She’s been on “Supergirl” and “Yellowjackets,” written books and comics, and continues to advocate for others. My wife Kelly and our son Jonas are still in Maine and Jonas works in the same building where I once testified. He’s a musician, a writer, and an actor. Nicole and I now live in California.
We’re a close family, even though we live far apart. And we’re all still paying attention, because the decisions being made in the Maine Legislature don’t just affect one child. They affect entire families.
My children are doing well because they were given the chance to grow up with dignity and respect. Because elected officials and community members and educators listened. And because they led with honor.
But the anti-trans legislation being proposed right now threatens all of that. It sends a harmful message to kids who are already struggling and to parents like me who were once unsure, but chose love over fear.
Please, reject these anti-trans bills not just because they’re harmful, but because even someone like me, who once held more conservative views, came to see that my child didn’t need to be changed. I did.
A few years ago, I started organizing fishing trips for dads of trans kids. Last year, we turned one into a short film — “The Dads,” on Netflix. It won a Daytime Emmy. But more importantly, it opened hearts.
This past summer, I brought nine dads to fish in northern Maine. On the long drive north, I shared our story. We stood in remote lakes, cast lines, and talked about what it means to show up for your kids, especially when it’s hard. So I’m here, showing up again just like I always will for my family.
Maine is a place that understands freedom. And freedom means the ability to live as who you truly are. That’s the Maine I know. That’s the Maine I love.
I ended my testimony all those years ago with this: Transgender children are just like your children and grandchildren. They have the same dreams, the same hopes, and the same right to be safe, seen, and supported.
So once again, I ask all Mainers to listen to their hearts. To not give into fear. To reject this slate of discriminatory and harmful legislation. And show the country once again what it means to lead with integrity, compassion, and honor.
