Jay Shetty is known for his ability to simplify complex philosophical concepts and present them in a relatable and engaging way.
Shetty, 37, has worked with many celebrities and public figures, including Tom Holland, Kim Kardashian, Jelly Roll and Bill Gates. Now the best-selling author and host of the “On Purpose” podcast is sharing his spiritual wisdom and practical advice in the latest issue of Us Weekly.
In addition to helping Us unlock the profound secrets to living a purposeful, meaningful and jubilant life, Shetty is taking his hit podcast on the road. The “On Purpose Live” tour is scheduled to travel across North America with stops in the United States and Canada.
Keep scrolling to take in Shetty’s words of wisdom:
Us: Where does happiness come from and how do we get there?
Shetty: I think that one of the most common misunderstandings about happiness is that it’s a destination we’re trying to arrive at, when in fact it’s what we can experience along the way. If we map a course toward a meaningful life by engaging in things that deeply matter to us and that fuel our purpose, happiness will be a natural by-product. For instance, studies show that when people engage in service, it often makes them feel happier. Happiness [can be] a natural by-product of following our purpose.
Us: How can we build a happy mind?
Shetty: Here’s an area where I think it’s really helpful to understand how our brains work. We’re wired to notice the negative more than the positive in life, so when something stressful or bad happens, it gets our attention more easily than when something enjoyable or positive happens. Unfortunately, a lot of online content is geared to play into this wiring. Not only are there more negative headlines, we’re more likely to tune into them, which reinforces our perception that the world is a bad place. The good news is that knowing this, we can make different choices. Instead of automatically clicking on posts or headlines that are upsetting or frightening, we can put the phone down or actively seek out positive content. Over time, we’ll develop more of a balance in our brains and our perception of the world will also shift.
Us: What are the most common obstacles that get in the way of happiness?
Shetty: There’s a great quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Think about a time when you were perfectly happy with something you had — maybe it was the new pair of sneakers you got two months ago — and then you saw someone else with a nicer, newer pair. Suddenly, you became less satisfied with what you had. There can be some cases where we can use comparison positively, to inspire us, but most of the time, we use it to measure ourselves against others. No matter where we are in life or what we have, that almost inevitably leads to unhappiness. Comparison can be a hard habit to break, but it’s worth the effort.
Us: How can we stop caring about what other people think of us?
Shetty: I don’t actually think we can stop caring completely because, to some extent, it’s again part of our innate wiring. Back when we relied on groups to live, it was essential that we fit into some extent because our lives depended on it. Even today, it’s not a bad thing to have some degree of awareness and caring for how others view you; it’s just that you don’t want to assign too much importance to it. What helps us do that is to develop a deep sense of our own values and what’s important to us. Instead of trying to please others or constantly have their approval, we can learn to seek our own approval. That comes when we’re aligned with what’s most important to us.
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Us: You’ve said that a more enriching happiness arises out of deeper purposes. How do we find our deeper meaning and purposes in life?
Shetty: I believe that your purpose is about finding what you’re good at that you enjoy and is also of value to the world. You can think of it almost as a formula: passion plus expertise plus usefulness equals purpose. Some of us are almost born with a sense of our purpose, but for most of us, discovering our purpose is a process. It’s a journey that unfolds over time, and that’s OK. It’s about exploration and experimentation, discovering your skills and uncovering your interests, and observing what the world needs.
Us: Tell Us about the 4-E formula. Can it lead to a happier, more fulfilling relationship?
Shetty: Yes, the 4-E formula is about the four different categories of things you can do with your partner. Those are: entertainment, experiences and experiments, education and engagement. All of these are great, but the problem is that typically, we only really do one: entertainment. We watch TV and movies together, and we may not even really discuss them in a way that’s enriching. Experiences and experiments are about doing new things together, about bringing novelty into the relationship to energize it. When we engage in education, we learn together and so we grow together. Engagement is really special because it’s about service. When you go out and make a positive impact in the world together, it can strengthen and enhance a relationship like nothing else can.
For more on Shetty, pick up the latest issue of Us Weekly, on stands now.
