TLC’s The Baldwins offered Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin the chance to share their unfiltered thoughts on cinematographer Halyna Hutchins‘ death on the set of Rust.
Before the reality series debuted in February, Alec, 66, and Hilaria’s candid quotes about the tragic incident were featured in the official trailer. The couple continued to bring the topic up as The Baldwins filmed them in the days leading up to the trial.
“The past three years has been a significant chunk of my children’s lives,” Hilaria who shares six kids with Alec, shared in the series premiere. “Our older ones were much younger, but have had the awareness because of their age to be able to understand what’s going on. The youngest three don’t know a life without this.”
Alec, meanwhile, reflected on how “everything was so different before” the shooting. “Our lives are very, very different,” he said. “Our children have been forced to recognize that. They’ve been forced to deal with that, with us in their own way.”
Alec Baldwin Says Life Changed in a ‘Big Way’ When He Met Hilaria
Hilaria continued: “They’ve had some really unfortunate realizations about things that are going on. Life will forever be different. Halyna lost her life in the most unthinkable tragedy, a son lost his mom. We are going to feel and carry this pain forever. This will be a part of our family story.”
Alec was originally charged with involuntary manslaughter in January 2023 following Hutchins’ death on set. The actor was holding the prop gun that was fired on the movie set in October 2021, which killed Hutchins and injured director Joel Souza, but has insisted he’s not responsible for the incident.
Baldwin pleaded not guilty, and the charges were dropped in April 2023, but he was indicted again in connection with the death of Hutchins. The second case was ultimately dismissed by the judge and Baldwin has since filed a lawsuit accusing the prosecution team of malicious prosecution and civil rights violations.
Keep scrolling for Alec and Hilaria’s most emotional quotes about Hutchins death and the difficult aftermath:
Blaming Himself
“This has been just surreal,” Alec told his wife during the season 1 premiere, which aired in February 2025. “I can’t even believe that we’re going through this, and I always feel more in pain about you than I do. I think to myself that I’m going to try to my best to just get through it, and I think about what it’s done to you and how much it’s hurt you and everything.”
Alec elaborated in a confessional, saying, “This past year was just terrible. There were times I’d lay in bed. I’d go, ‘Wow, my kids. I can’t get up.’ That’s not like me. I’m not like that at all, not in any way am I like that. Never.”
Alec Baldwin’s Biggest Scandals and Controversies Through the Years
Taking a Toll
Hilaria revealed the toll the shooting took on Alec. “Everyone who is close to Alec has seen his mental health decline,” she said about Alec’s OCD. “He was diagnosed with PTSD, and he says in his darkest moments, ‘If an accident had to have happened this day, why am I still here? Why couldn’t it have been me?’”
Counting Their Blessings
“I look at the kids, and I see how hard we’re trying to create happy memories for them, even if we’re masking stuff for ourselves,” Hilaria continued in the series premiere. “I know that what we’re going through is maybe unique, but every family goes through hard times, and that’s something that we can feel a community of support, knowing that the best that we can do is do our best and try to make our kids happy, and so that’s what we’re doing.”
Alec had a similar outlook in a joint confessional. “Honestly — from the bottom of my soul — I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have you and these kids going through this,” he said. “I never would have made it with this. Sometimes I’d say, ‘Why did I have seven kids? Why do we have seven kids?’ And I realize, to help carry me and you through this situation.”
The couple share seven children together: Carmen, 11, Rafael, 9, Leonardo, 8, Romeo, 6, Eduardo, 4, María, 4 and Ilaria, 2. On the show, Hilaria mentioned how the older kids “have awareness” of the Rust aftermath while the younger children “don’t know life without this.”
“They’ve had some really unfortunate realizations about things that are going on,” she noted. “Life will forever be different. Halyna lost her life in the most unthinkable tragedy, a son lost his mom. We are going to feel and carry this pain forever. This will be a part of our family story.”
Judge Denies Alec Baldwin’s Request to Dismiss Manslaughter Indictment
How Their Kids Have Been Affected
Days before the Rust trial, Hilaria revealed her then-10-year-old daughter Carmen’s concerns.
“Carmen asked me last night, ‘When daddy goes to New Mexico. Do I say goodbye to him? Do I say goodbye to him in a special way?’ Hilaria recalled before getting emotional. “[She was so afraid] that when Alec and I go into court that somebody is going to shoot us.”
Keeping Halyna’s Memory Alive
“A woman lost her life in the most unforeseeable tragedy. This is never something to forget. This is never something to not think of,” Hilaria told the cameras. “This is about honoring a really incredible person for the rest of our lives, to pass on her memory to our children and our children’s children. It was a very traumatic thing for everybody that was in that room and everybody that was somehow connected to it.”
Hilaria recalled how much Alec struggled in the initial months. “I found these text messages the other day between us and the day after he said he wanted to kill himself,” she revealed. “He has survivor’s guilt. … He wishes it were him. He would change places in a second.”
She continued: “This has affected his health and his mental health tremendously. In the past few years, he has had heart problems and multiple times he fainted.”
