Fans may think they know Parvati Shallow, but the Survivor legend is preparing some surprises in her upcoming book, Nice Girls Don’t Win.
“It covers my whole life up until very recently — coming back from Deal or No Deal Island, that’s the epilogue,” Shallow, 42, exclusively told Us Weekly while promoting season 2 of the NBC competition show. “It’s a journey of going from a really naive [place], like, ‘Oh I don’t know, I just wanna be liked’ and wanting people to think I’m great, to ‘I really know who I am.’ I’m [now] able to make these decisions and create a life that I really love that is so authentic to me.”
Shallow said when she got the call from Random House about the book deal, she lost it. “They’re like, ‘We want this.’ I thought I was having a heart attack,” she told Us. “I was like, ‘I’m dying. I think I need to check myself into urgent care.’”
Shallow believes her body “was having a reaction to knowing that I was gonna have to follow through and really put these stories out into the world.” She added, “It was terrifying.”
Shallow confirmed that her stints on several reality shows as well as her personal life will be explored in the book, which is expected on July 8.
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“I share stories about getting cast on Survivor, going out and playing, [and] what that was like for me. Traitors is in there. My marriage, having a baby, my divorce, and then getting into a queer relationship for the first time in my life,” she said. “It covers the whole range and it’s pretty vulnerable and very intimate and stories that I’ve never shared.”
Shallow shares 6-year-old daughter Ama with ex-husband John Fincher, with whom she had a messy divorce in 2021. She started dating comedian Mae Martin in 2023, recently telling People that their status is “an in-flux situation.”
“[Writing the memoir] was the hardest thing I’ve ever done — and I have birthed a baby and I’ve played five seasons of Survivor,” she continued to Us. “I’m a different person because I wrote the book. I have really reclaimed my power in my voice. I am a chronic oversharer in my life, I think, but it hasn’t been public in this way.”
Shallow reiterated that nothing is off limits.
“Some of the stories are really vulnerable. I wrote about the death of my brother and what that was like. So with my parents reading it, I’m like, ‘I’m sorry. I ask for forgiveness instead of permission,’” she explained. ”And then with my dating life, there’s some of that in there that I’m, like, ‘Hopefully is fine!’”
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The title wasn’t as hard to settle on — despite her daughter’s disapproval.
“Sandra [Diaz-Twine] and I had that feud [which included me saying], ‘nice girls don’t win Survivor or build lives they love.’ I really believe that,” Shallow told Us. “I think that when I talk about being nice, it’s different from being kind. I think I’m a kind person. Be kind. I want everyone to be kind. But being nice has this stickiness to it that is like, ‘I’m gonna be nice to you so you like me so you want to give me the things that I want from you.’ So really it’s about stop trying to be liked and start living your life authentically for you. And then you will find a way to win whatever it is that you’re doing in your life.”
Shallow explained that Ama “is very upset about the title.”
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“She goes, ‘Mom, that’s not true. Nice girls do win.’ She’s mad about it. I’m like, ‘Yeah, you’re right. Sometimes nice girls do win, but it’s kind of like a cheeky hook,’” she said, revealing that Ama has only seen a little bit of her mom’s time on reality TV. “She watched me poison Ekin-Su [on Traitors] and she’s like, ‘Oh my god Mom, you’re the bad guy.’ She watched one episode of Traitors and then it was too much for her. But she watched Deal No Deal Island. And she loved it.”
Shallow concluded that she has to “ease” her daughter into reality TV “because she’s already very competitive and wants to be famous, so I’m a little nervous.”
Nice Girls Don’t Win: How I Burned It All Down to Claim My Power is available for pre-order now. Its expected release is July 8, 2025.
