Trista Sutter’s exit from Special Forces appeared abrupt on TV, but it turns out there was a lot going on behind the scenes that viewers didn’t see on the Wednesday, January 15, episode.
“When I got back from the beach on the first day, I was in hypothermic shock. My lips were turning blue in the vehicle on the way back. It was bad. I was extremely lethargic,” Sutter, 53, revealed in an exclusive interview with Us Weekly. “It was really scary.”
Not long into Wednesday’s episode, the OG Bachelorette told the Special Forces soldiers that she wanted to leave. According to Sutter, she realized it was her time to go after a mirror room that didn’t air.
“I wanted to get to the end. I truly did. I wasn’t one that wanted to just sign up for the show and get the paycheck on the first day, you know what I mean? I wanted to challenge myself as much as I could, and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and the mirror room part of it, I wanted to get to that,” she told Us. “I thought that it would be farther along, but because of what happened to me, they pulled me in and I got to really connect on a human level with Billy [Billingham] and Q [Jovon Quarles].”
Sutter also recalled connecting with soldier Rudy Reyes.
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“When I was on the beach, I stopped Rudy and I said, ‘I think I’m going to faint.’ And he’s like, ‘Well, what do you want to do?’ I said, ‘I would love to see a medic.’ And he is like, ‘Well, you can’t, if you see a medic then you’re voluntarily withdrawing.’ … And he’s like, ‘I’m sorry, you have to either VW or keep going.’ And I’m like, ‘OK, I’m not ready to go home,’” she explained to Us. “So I just kept going and he said, after the mirror room, ‘I’m really proud of you. I thought you were going to quit on the beach and you didn’t and you kept going and that’s so important and I am so proud of you.’”
Sutter called the validation she received from the DS rewarding — and a sign she might’ve accomplished what she was set out to do on the show, despite her quick exit.
“They saw that I was giving a hundred percent — even though my hundred percent was not as great as the professional athletes and Carey Hart, I was trying my best,” she continued. “And so just knowing that they saw that I was giving a hundred percent meant a lot to me. I have just so much respect for them and what they have given to our country [and] their countries. Connecting with them was really important to me.”
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The reality TV personality went into more detail regarding her decision to exit the show, explaining that she took a long shower to warm up after returning from the beach.
“Before we started filming [again] I saw the number 444 and I believe in angel numbers and guardian angels and God and have huge faith and all of that,” she said. “I went into it knowing or believing that my guardian angels were kind of watching over me and went to bed. I woke up to the explosions — all of us did — and instantaneously a peace came over me thinking, ‘You’re good. You’ve gotten a lot out of these two days.’ Even though it’s just two days. It was like a lifetime.”
Sutter added that the staff warned her things were going to get harder if she remained and progressed in the show.
“And it was already really hard!” she continued. “The in-betweens — running with the pack, which is a third of my body weight essentially — it was really hard. I’ve never been a runner and those were the hard parts, the tasks I was actually kind of excited about and thought I did really well in them even though I didn’t pass technically.”
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On the show, Sutter said she didn’t want to be a “burden” to any of her costars.
“I wanted to challenge myself but [not] burden other people to help me,” she told Us of the remark. “They didn’t have to help me. Golden [Tate] was carrying my pack — you could see it in one of the moments by the bridge — he had two packs on, one of them was mine. And I remember saying to him, ‘I think I’m going to go.’ He’s like, ‘Are you sure?’ And mind you, this is when we are running around trying to get ready to, like, go, go.”
Sutter reiterated that even though she was only on the show for a short stint, it was a very fulfilling experience. She noted that other contestants Denise Richards (who was the second recruit to leave) likely felt the same.
“I have so much respect for what Denise was able to accomplish and she was the second one to leave,” Sutter said. “Everyone has a different purpose for being there. Everyone has their own individual reasons for leaving and that takes away nothing from who they are and what they’re trying to accomplish.”
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Sutter concluded that she gained back her “confidence” — as an individual and an athlete — as a result of appearing on the series.
“I learned that I can do hard things if I put my mind to it. And part of me regrets leaving when I did, now that I see everything that they’ve been through,” she said. “But I just keep trying to remind myself how I felt in that moment and that peace that came over me, [how I did] challenge myself with the experience and all the people I met, the camaraderie. I’m trying to be grateful for all that, but it is hard. I would love to wake myself up and be like, ‘Yeah, whatever. Screw that piece. Keep going!’”
Special Forces airs on Fox Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET.
