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Eddie Adelman is a writer who lives in Belfast. His book of columns and short essays is called “Don’t Get Me Started.”
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got Wednesday, Nov. 6, circled on my calendar. That’s the day after Election Day when all the political ads stop, the lawn signs start to come down, and the robo-calls cease and desist. And let’s not forget all that political junk mail.
I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican, so I don’t have a dog in the fight. You could say I’m an equal opportunity skewer.
But before I do that, let me say how blessed I am to live in a country where I can write a piece like this without fear of being abducted from my home in the middle of the night and imprisoned, tortured or even killed.
For the brave citizens in places like Russia, North Korea or Iran willing to risk everything standing up to tyranny, I can only bow my head in humility and utter veneration.
And now, back to the skewering.
As far as I can tell, the No. 1 goal of every elected official is simple: Get reelected at all costs.
Power is intoxicating, as the senators in ancient Rome knew all too well as they luxuriated in their executive bathhouses.
Nowadays, getting reelected is a full-time job. There’s always a new candidate ready and willing to face off in the middle of town.
Sadly, it’s the moments leading up to that face-off that are problematic.
Let’s start with political advertising. According to the half dozen sources I checked out online, the consensus was that the total cost for the 2020 presidential and congressional election campaigns was more than $14 billion.
Even more disturbing is that the $14 billion was more than double the price tag for the 2016 campaigns. And that doesn’t even take into account the cost of local and state elections.
Who knows what the total price tag will be for the 2024 campaigns? Twenty billion?
Think about how much low-income housing all that money would create. I bet we could make a huge dent in the homeless crisis here in America in a single election cycle. But I digress.
Of all the billions of dollars raised and spent, a sizable chunk will be spent on TV ads.
If I’m not mistaken, there was a time when TV ads didn’t mention the competition. Tide never mentioned Cheer. Ford never mentioned Chevy. Pepsi never mentioned Coke.
I believe the same was true for political ads. We were content to see the candidates posing in the backyard with his or her family in front of a swing set, surrounded by impossibly cute kids, and stout, hard-working immigrant parents.
Kiss those days goodbye!
Nowadays, political ads start with a single, undeniable premise: The opposing candidate is bent on destroying everything you hold near and dear. Adios, swing set.
And how about those incessant robo-calls from the candidates at all hours of the day? “Hi, this is (fill in the blank). And the reason I’m running is (fill in the blank).”
Wow! That is so fascinating. I’ll take two.
And political junk mail? Can we talk? Has anyone ever read one of those mailings and thought, “That does it. I’m changing my vote.” Hello, recycle bin. But there is an upside. As luck would have it, those jumbo postcards are perfect for lining the bottoms of parakeet and hamster cages.
Road signs. Lawn signs. Hats. T-shirts. Bumper stickers. Don’t get me started.
Finally, what’s a good political campaign without a catchy slogan? They go back a long way. “A chicken in every pot.” “I like Ike.” “A thousand points of light.” “Yes we can.” “Make America great again.” “We’re not going back.”
Back in 1968, I remember one presidential slogan that was fodder for mockery. Pregnant women were hired by the opposition and wore Tt-shirts with the caption, “Nixon’s the One.”
Perhaps a bit more of that shared lightness and perspective is just what the doctor ordered to get us through this never-ending barrage of rancor and self-righteousness. And, more important, make us realize that we’re not as different as we think.
But for now, Election Day is nearly here.
Can I get an “Amen”?
I’m Eddie Adelman, and I approved this column.
