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Kayla McInnis is a Maine-based student focused on addiction recovery and counseling, with lived experience in recovery.
Across Maine and the country, overdose rates and access to treatment continue to dominate conversations. But what happens inside recovery programs matters just as much.
Recovery is not just about staying sober. It is about rebuilding a life, one decision at a time. And sometimes, those decisions don’t go perfectly. I’ve seen how one small mistake — like being late or missing a check-in — can feel like it wipes out all the progress someone has made. I’ve felt that moment myself, where one mistake made me question everything I had worked for. That mindset is exactly what holds people back.
We say we support recovery. We say we believe people can change. But when someone slips up, the response is often punishment instead of understanding. That sends a message: You’re only doing well if you’re perfect. That’s not realistic for anyone, especially someone trying to change their entire life.
In treatment, structure matters. Rules and accountability help people stay focused and build discipline. But there’s a difference between holding someone accountable and making them feel like they’ve failed completely. When everything becomes all-or-nothing, it creates pressure that can push people backward instead of forward.
Think about it like this: If someone is doing everything right for weeks — showing up, participating, staying clean — and then makes one mistake, what should matter more? The progress, or the slip? If we focus only on the mistake, we ignore all the growth that came before it. That can make someone think, “What’s the point?” And that kind of thinking is dangerous in recovery.
It’s easy to fall into that mindset. One bad moment can turn into thoughts like, “I messed up, so everything is ruined.” That’s not truth — it’s distorted thinking. But when the environment reinforces that feeling, it becomes harder to push back against it.
At the same time, staff and programs have rules for a reason. They are trying to keep people safe and create consistency. Without structure, things can fall apart quickly. That’s real. But structure should support recovery, not make it feel impossible.
What we need is balance. We need systems that hold people accountable and recognize effort. Instead of only asking, “What did you do wrong?” we should also be asking, “What have you been doing right?” That shift in perspective can change everything.
Recovery is already hard. People are trying to change habits, rebuild trust, face their past, and create a future all at once. They don’t need to feel like one mistake defines them. They need to know that growth includes setbacks, and that those setbacks don’t erase progress.
If we want people to succeed, we have to stop expecting perfection and start supporting progress. That means giving second chances that actually feel real — not just words, but actions. It means responding to mistakes with guidance, not just consequences.
Recovery isn’t about being flawless. It’s about getting back up, learning, and continuing forward. If we create environments that reflect that, we give people a real chance to change — not just follow rules, but build a life that lasts.
