The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star Mikayla Matthews is reflecting on motherhood while celebrating Mother’s Day without her two eldest kids.
“It was such a hard decision being away from Beckham and Haven on Mother’s Day. Woke up to these this morning from them and it was so sad but so sweet,” Matthews wrote via her Instagram Story on Sunday, May 10, alongside a photo of a flower arrangement.
She continued, “Today I’m grateful for my kids and the joy they bring to my life, especially during the times I feel like there’s no end in sight with this s***ty health stuff and I’m not able to show up in the ways that I so desperately want to or imagined myself doing when I became a mom.”
Matthews wrote that her four children, whom she shares with estranged husband Jace Terry, remind her every day that she’s “doing enough.” (The pair welcomed son Beckham and daughters Haven, Tommie and Lottie in July 2017, August 2019, November 2021 and July 2025, respectively. Matthews and Terry confirmed their separation during Mormon Wives season 4, which aired earlier this year.)
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“And for Jace that gives me the space to heal and the support and encouragement I needed to remove myself from toxic environments and trust my intuition to get better and come back as a better mom and better wife that I want to be,” Matthews concluded, alongside a red heart emoji.
In a separate Instagram post, Matthews reflected on motherhood while sharing a series of images of her with her four children through the years.
“Motherhood is somehow the best and hardest thing all at once,” she wrote. “Watching them grow up is the best gift, but having to grieve every little stage that passes by wayyyyy too fast is almost unbearable. It’s exhausting, beautiful, overwhelming, rewarding, and full of so much love all the time. Can I relive every version of them forever!?! 😭Happy Mother’s Day to all you incredible mommys🤍.”
Matthews reposted the slideshow to her Instagram Story and added, ‘Those things I miss, but know are never coming back.’ Happy Mother’s Day to all you amazing mamas. Just know we’re all going through the same heartbreak together. Having to let go of each little stage as they grow. It’s inevitable, yet somehow still so painful and bittersweet every single time.”
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Matthews shared in April that she had relocated from Utah to Hawaii in the hopes of addressing her chronic health issues. The next month, Matthews made headlines for her back-and-forth with Mormon Wives’ Taylor Frankie Paul amid her costar’s legal drama.
In a statement on Saturday, May 9, Matthews shared that she “tried to stay as removed as possible” from Paul amid legal drama. (Taylor temporarily lost custody of son Ever, 2, after an alleged domestic violence incident with ex Dakota Mortensen. Local police declined to press charges. Taylor is also mom to daughter Indy, 8, and son Ocean, 5, whom she shares with ex-husband Tate Paul.)
Taylor, however, responded in the comments section of a fan’s recap of Matthew’s message and alleged that her friend was “waiting for my downfall.” Matthews denied this in a separate comment.
In a cryptic post on Sunday, Taylor wrote via her Instagram Story, “I will not be sitting down, staying silent or logging off … I did that for years on this. Trust me I can take a beating whether it’s physical, emotional, or public scrutiny. Anyone else want to speak up? Please do …”
While Mormon Wives halted production on season 5 due to the alleged altercation between Taylor and Mortensen, Us Weekly confirmed last month that filming has resumed. Taylor, however, has yet to appear on camera.
