Hockey player Jesse Kortuem has come out as gay after being inspired by the hit Crave/HBO Max show Heated Rivalry.
“I know many closeted and gay men in the hockey world are being hit hard by Heated Rivalry’s success,” Kortuem told Out magazine on Wednesday, January 14. “Never in my life did I think something so positive and loving could come from such a masculine sport,” I’ve struggled the last few weeks to put these emotions into words, fearing the impact on team dynamics, etc.”
He continued, “Today, I took the step to finally tell my hockey journey and my story. I’m beyond grateful for all the positive comments I’ve received from past teammates and high school teammates.”
Kortuem further opened up about his journey in an emotional Facebook post on Tuesday, January 13, writing how he struggled to reconcile his sexuality with the sport when he was younger, and spent much of his career in the closet.
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Kortuem wrote that “something has sparked in me” to go public, crediting the success of Heated Rivalry, which follows the romance between two closeted hockey players, Shane Hollander (Hudson Williams) and Ilya Rozanov (Connor Storrie).
“For a long time, however, the rink did not feel like a place where I could be all of me. I felt I had to hide parts of myself for far too long,” he wrote. “Growing up as the youngest of four boys in the #StateOfHockey (Minnesota), sports and competition were not just what we did. They were who we were. As a young teenager, I carried a weight that did not seem to fit into that world, and I lived in a constant state of dichotomy. I loved the game, but I lived with a persistent fear. I wondered how I could be gay and still play such a tough and masculine sport.”
Kortuem continued, “To my younger self, that identity could never be revealed. I did not think those two worlds could occupy the same person, let alone the same locker room. Coming out in the 2000s did not feel like an option, especially with so little positive representation in the media at the time, and it would have been a social disaster at such a large high school. At 17, I walked away from the high school team and the brotherhood of hockey friendships I had developed from a young age for a myriad of reasons.”
Kortuem said he got back into playing hockey “at a high level” as an adult, though he “still could not bring myself to be fully out on my adult hockey teams.”
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“On the inside, I was still that kid in Minnesota hiding,” he explained. “Like many closeted athletes, revealing who I truly was to my team would change everything in an instant, their opinion of me, could bring negative attention to the team with the ‘gay player,’ so I never took the chance. I spent every week in a locker room with guys I respected, yet I still did not feel safe enough to tell them who I truly was. Even when the conversation turned to wives, families, or dating, I would quickly change the subject. If it came down to it, I would just tell them I was single, even when I was seeing someone.”
Eventually, Kortuem said he found community in a gay hockey tournament in 2017, describing the experience as life-changing.
He now plays for the Cutting Edges Hockey Club, an LGBTQIA+ hockey team in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
“It has been a long, vulnerable road to move past the closeted athlete persona (something I’m still working on today) and find actual peace through the friendships I have developed through hockey in Vancouver (Cutting Edges), Toronto (Misfits), and across the US,” the athlete wrote.
Kortuem said that he has “finally found my peace” and feels “there is room for all of us on the ice.”
As for athletes that may still be in the closet, he added, “I want you to know that there is hope and you’re not alone. There is a life and a deep happiness waiting for you on your path. You will get through this, and it is going to be okay.”
Heated Rivalry, which has catapulted its stars – Williams, Storrie and François Arnaud — to fame, has already been renewed for a second season. It is based on Rachel Reid’s Game Changers book series.
