A shocking wave of early-season coaching resignations has hit Maine high school basketball.
And other coaches say they’ve never seen anything quite like this — both in terms of the volume of departures, and the changing atmosphere that is driving some to leave.
Three boys basketball coaches have resigned in the past two weeks, with the season hardly underway before coaches at Brewer High School, John Bapst in Bangor and Oceanside in Rockland decided to walk away. In two of those cases, the departing coaches cited issues with parents as part of their decision.
The Bangor Daily News spoke with four other Maine high school boys basketball coaches not involved in those specific programs, who were granted anonymity to speak candidly about their experiences in this current environment.
“I haven’t seen anything like this,” one coach said. “It’s sad that coaching is coming to this where parents are intervening enough that coaches just don’t want to deal with it anymore.”
Managing the dynamic with parents has always been part of the job, the coach said, but it’s become “much more challenging” over the years.
“I’m not really sure as to why but it feels like the criticisms are becoming more and more as of recent,” the coach added.
Another coach almost decided to call it quits five or six years ago, before coming to terms with the way things have evolved.
“It’s changed tremendously,” that coach said. “It’s become a more selfish society, selfish environment.”
Several of the coaches interviewed for this story pointed to a mismatch in expectations, with parents and players sometimes having a different idea about playing time than the coaches.
“I just feel like it’s — society today is a lot different than it was 20 years ago. It seems like both a lot of the kids and a lot of the parents just want instant success and instant headlines or whatever,” one of the coaches said. “Just because you’re a good player in junior high or JV doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gonna be the star on the varsity.”
Can’t coach the same way
One of the coaches interviewed thinks parents have always been incredibly invested in their children participating on a team, and didn’t think there has been much of a change in terms of how that factors into coaching.
“I believe the parents are extremely emotional about their kids,” the coach said. “They always have been.”
But even that coach sees changes over time, including a shift in what coaching techniques are considered acceptable.
“It might be that some of the tactics that were OK to use years ago are not so,” that coach added.
Another coach expanded on that idea.
“I don’t know how to say this except to be blunt, like you can’t hold kids accountable like you used to,” the coach said. “I don’t know, it just seems like if you try to be strict or try to coach in a way that is anything except very peaceful, then you’re looked on as like a dictator or something like that.”
That coach reflected on their own time as a player, and said some of their best coaches were “very hard on me” and that everything wasn’t “all nicey-nice” all the time.
“So I think it’s harder to hold kids to expectations than it used to be,” the coach added, noting that today, even yelling out to a player that they should have come down with a rebound might be considered too forceful.
Finding the right balance of intensity can be a moving target that coaches don’t always hit, another coach pointed out.
“We make mistakes,” the coach said. “We might go over the top where we thought something might work.”
They try to do the right thing to motivate players in the heat of the moment, and may realize afterward that they didn’t approach it appropriately.
“There’s been many times where I’ve had to go back and apologize to kids or parents for possibly, you know, being too passionate,” the coach added.
Parent expectations and administrative responses
Multiple coaches also said there has been a shift in expectations over the years, with parents in particular envisioning starring roles for their kids on the team. Some of that comes with the added time and investments that families make in things like AAU basketball and training throughout the year, and coaches said parents have a harder time accepting less playing time than the players themselves.
“I think you can speak to the kids,” one coach said. “But I think when the kid gets reinforcement from the parent that they’re the next Michael Jordan or something. I think that’s when it becomes a problem.”
That coach also thought there has been a decrease in the willingness for athletes to embrace being role players rather than stars on their teams.
And while those challenges and disagreements about playing time are not new in Maine high school basketball, coaches also see a shift in the administrative response when parent concerns emerge.
“And people just aren’t patient. They want it now. They want it right now. And, I think probably the difference over the years is that administration ends up having to listen to — there’s more complaints from the public,” one of the coaches said. “I think probably 20 years ago or more, the parents might have complained, but it wasn’t taken as seriously as it is today.”
Now, there’s more of a sense that complaints need to be discussed and dealt with immediately, the coach said, whereas in the past, things may have worked themselves out on their own.
“I think administrators aren’t as strong as they used to be, to be honest with you,” another coach said. “I think they’re afraid of parents. I think they have job security. I think they’re worried about their job.”
What it means for the future of coaching
The role of high school basketball coach isn’t for the faint of heart. Between the practices, games, team functions and a long list of other time commitments and responsibilities, coaches are already investing a lot of themselves into their teams and not hauling in huge sums of money for the work.
“Being a coach isn’t an easy job as it is, let alone when you have parents, fans, or whoever it may be, criticizing every single move you make,” one of the coaches said. “Speaking from experience, I’m not doing it for the small stipend we get at the end of the year. Most coaches have pure joy in teaching and developing athletes as well as helping them learn valuable life lessons through competitive sports.”
And with the wave of recent resignations, it’s not just coaches themselves who are concerned about the status quo.
In an impassioned Facebook post, Camden Hills Athletic Director Jeff Hart pointed to the way parental pressure and criticism was cited in the resignations and called on the entire community to unite behind coaches.
“Coaching at the high school level is demanding, and it is not made better by public or private criticism from the sidelines, social media, or informal conversations,” Hart said in the post. “While questions or concerns may arise from time to time, publicly critiquing coaching decisions, playing time, or strategy — whether in person or online — undermines the program, the team culture, and ultimately the student-athletes themselves.”
Hart asked the community to support coaches as educators and professionals, refrain from public criticism, model respectful behavior to student-athletes, and trust the process knowing that it’s about more than wins and losses.
And according to at least one of the coaches, the stakes couldn’t be higher. That coach thinks the current atmosphere has the potential to ruin high school sports — and not just basketball.
“It’s just everybody is an armchair coach, and it’s sad that high school has come to this,” the coach said. “And I think it’s gonna hurt the sports scene in the high school level when it’s over with.”
That coach has seen parents go after coaches, not just during high-pressure varsity contests, but at peewee games and during summer basketball. The coach said those types of outbursts are “ridiculous” and called on parents to ditch that approach.
“I just think parents need to just come, relax, enjoy the game,” the coach added. “Enjoy their time watching their kids play, and enjoy the moment, because it’s gone before you know it. And then it really hits you hard.”
