Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner reveals in his new memoir that he struggled with suicidal ideation in the wake of his split from Theresa Nist, Us Weekly can confirm.
In an excerpt from the book, titled Golden Years: What I’ve Learned From Love, Loss, and Reality TV, and obtained by TMZ on Monday, November 3, Turner, 74, details his shame — and fleeting suicidal thoughts — after he and Nist, 72, announced their divorce in April 2024. (The Golden Bachelor exes tied the knot three months earlier on ABC.)
“If there would be a lot of comments about the rumors and press about me, no matter how well meant and sympathetic they were (Gerry we’re-so-sorry stuff), I didn’t want to go,” he wrote in the excerpt, which has been confirmed by Us. “I started avoiding people altogether, whether by walking circuitously to my destination so I didn’t pass a friend’s house or parking at the back of the supermarket and walking through the less trafficked entrance so I didn’t pass the greeter.”
Turner added, “People trying to be supportive were the most difficult to deal with. I could just write off the haters, but how could I tell those whose intentions were good, ‘Please, stop talking about it!’ I was sick of talking about myself. I wanted to be invisible.”
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He found himself battling intrusive thoughts, day and night.
“At a certain point,” he wrote, “I did not even want to get out of bed. When I went to sleep at night, I would try to find something positive and uplifting to think about, but the horrible comments were too loud.”
Turner continued, “One night, while I was lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling, it all became too much, and for the briefest of moments, I thought about putting a gun to my head. Just as quickly though, I thought of [daughters] Jenny and Angie. I could never do that to my daughters, but I don’t believe I truly wanted to kill myself. My suicidal thoughts were more of an expression of my desire to disappear.”
The reality star said that he was “used to having a marathon mentality whereby I could endure any kind of pain for a time because I knew it would eventually go away. This seemed like it was never going away.”
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In October, Turner revealed that he’s happily engaged to Lana Sutton. Last week, he appeared on the “Bachelor Happy Hour” podcast last week to address criticism that he had moved on too soon after divorcing one year earlier.
“I don’t want to sound disrespectful at all. I don’t think of myself as being divorced,” Turner said on the October 28 episode, explaining, “It was such a short time and it was, you know, in an artificial environment that I have to stop myself and say, ‘Yeah, you know what? I am divorced. It’s not like I’m that guy that was married 43 years and then did nothing.’ I am divorced.”
Turner and Nist met during the inaugural season of 2023’s The Golden Bachelor, and exchanged vows during a televised ceremony in January 2024.
Turner filed for divorce that April, citing an “irretrievable breakdown” of their marriage as the reason for the split.
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In Golden Years, Turner claimed he told Faith Martin — the second runner-up on the show — that he felt “trapped” ahead of marrying Nist. While recalling the moment during an exclusive interview with Us, Turner shared that he “felt like [he] was doing the right thing” by walking down the aisle.
