After Taylor Swift released The Life of a Showgirl, her fans immediately began theorizing that “Ruin the Friendship” is about her late friend Jeff Lang — and now his mom has weighed in on the speculation too.
In a recent interview with The Tennessean, Susan Lang said the song brought back happy memories when she heard it and made her wish she could contact Swift, 35, to thank her.
“After all this time, she hasn’t forgotten about him,” Susan added. “She’s keeping his name alive.”
She went on to note that she doesn’t know whether her son had reciprocal feelings for Swift but confirmed they were close.
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“They were really good friends. That’s rare these days,” Susan explained. “They hung out at her house a lot. They were always joking around with each other.”
Based on the title alone, some fans thought “Ruin the Friendship” would be about Blake Lively, but when The Life of a Showgirl dropped on October 3, it soon became clear that the track was about a crush who died young.
“And it was not / An invitation / Should’ve kissed you anyway,” Swift sings on the chorus after recalling memories of “watching the game” and driving on Gallatin Road. “And it was not / Convenient, no / But your girlfriend was away / Should’ve kissed you anyway.”
In the third verse, the Grammy winner recalls her friend Abigail Anderson Berard telling her about the boy’s death. “When I left school, I lost track of you / Abigail called me with the bad news,” Swift sings. “Goodbye / And we’ll never know why.”
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Swifties quickly interpreted the song as a possible reference to Jeff, who died suddenly in November 2010 at age 21. Shortly after his death, Swift traveled home to perform at Jeff’s funeral. She also addressed the tragedy at the BMI Country Awards via a video message while accepting her win as Country Songwriter of the Year.
“It’s been a really emotional week for me,” she said before dedicating the award to Jeff. “Yesterday, I sang at the funeral of one of my best friends. He was 21, and I used to play my songs for him first. So, I would like to thank Jeff Lang.”
In her interview with The Tennessean, Susan confirmed Swift’s 2010 revelation that she used to play her songs for Jeff before anyone else. The article also noted that a photo of Jeff and Swift hangs on the wall of Susan’s home in Hendersonville, Tennessee.
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Swift has not publicly said that “Ruin the Friendship” is about Jeff, but fans previously linked her song “Forever Winter” to him in 2023. That track appeared on Red (Taylor’s Version) and described a friend battling depression and substance abuse.
“Too young to know it gets better / I’ll be summer sun for you forever / Forever winter if you go,” Swift sang on the song. “He seems fine most of the time, forcing smiles and never minds / His laugh is a symphony, when the lights go out, it’s hard to breathe / I pull at every thread trying to solve the puzzles in his head / Live my life scared to death he’ll decide to leave instead.”
