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Heather Graham Shares Her ‘Awkward’ Experiences With Intimacy Coordinators

by DigestWire member
March 26, 2026
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Heather Graham Shares Her ‘Awkward’ Experiences With Intimacy Coordinators
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It’s been nearly 30 years since Heather Graham skated her way into cinematic history as Rollergirl, the bubbly, naive porn actress in Paul Thomas Anderson’s Boogie Nights. The cult classic, which centers on the adult entertainment industry, features Graham in several nude scenes, and the actress admits the way those moments are filmed has changed dramatically, particularly when it comes to intimacy coordinators.

“I think the MeToo movement was amazing [and] I think there is a very good intention behind intimacy coordinators. But it is odd when you come up without having them, and suddenly there’s this random person in the room just staring at you when you’re, like, pretending you have sex,” says Graham, who spoke to Us Weekly for this week’s cover story. “It’s kind of awkward.”

These days, intimacy coordinators are a fixture on many sets, there to choreograph scenes and ensure everyone feels comfortable. But for the actress — who spent years shooting intimate scenes without an extra set of eyes in the room — their presence can sometimes feel like one person too many.

“I know that they have a beautiful intention, and they really want to help and protect actors,” says Graham, who also starred in the 2002 erotic thriller Killing Me Softly and as a former adult film star in 2012’s About Cherry. “But as the actor, sometimes I’m like, ‘Can you just get all these people out of the room?’”

Heather Graham
Brandon Harman

Graham, who’s back on screen in the upcoming horror comedy They Will Kill You (out March 27), says that awkwardness hit home on a recent project, when she found herself worrying less about the scene and more about the person meant to oversee it. “I just did this other horror movie, and there was this adorable intimacy coordinator. She was in her 20s, super sweet. We were doing this scary scene, and I felt like I had to take care of her,” explains the actress, 56. “She’s like, ‘This is really disturbing.’ And I’m like, ‘I know, I’m sorry,’” she adds with a laugh. “It’s kind of awkward.”

Heather Graham on Aging, Dating and Making It Through Hollywood Unscathed

There have also been moments when the role blurred into something else entirely — namely, creative direction. “One time, I had an intimacy coordinator, and they started directing me on, like, how to have sex in a scene,” Graham says. “They were like, ‘When you do this, you can do this.’ And I was like, ‘You’re not the director, OK? I’m not asking for notes on how to have sex in the scene. I just felt, like, ‘Shut up,’” she laughs. “I’m like, ‘You can just tell this to the director… because I don’t want to have two different people directing me.’ It’s confusing.”

Still, Graham isn’t dismissing the role altogether, and she can see how some actors could benefit. “It might be better if you’re younger and don’t know how to stand for yourself and speak up for yourself,” shares the Hangover alum. “At this point, I feel like I’m strong enough. So I just don’t want a lot of extra people in the room.”

Heather Graham
New Line Cinema/Everett Collection

That sense of confidence carried into her latest movie, too. Graham describes They Will Kill You as a mix of Get Out and Rosemary’s Baby. “It’s like Quentin Tarantino doing a horror movie,” she says. “It’s not just a slasher — there’s a lot of fun and action in it as well.”

Graham, who stars alongside Patricia Arquette and Zazie Beetz, tells Us she found new ways to challenge herself in the project, including taking on physically demanding scenes. “It was so fun to get to do something new,” she says. “Zazie and I have a lot of fight scenes, and I definitely wanted to do some of the stunts myself. I didn’t do all of them, but I did do a lot of them, and I would love to do more action and kick ass more.”

For more on Heather Graham, watch the exclusive video above and pick up the latest issue of Us Weekly — on newsstands now.

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