Celebrity hairstylist Chris Appleton recalled experiencing suicidal ideation during the “darkest” part of his life at age 26 while trying to come to terms with his sexuality.
“I don’t remember a lot. I was in the hospital for a while,” Appleton, 42, said during the “Viall Files” podcast on Wednesday, January 14. “I remember thinking to myself, ‘Well, I couldn’t hate myself anymore. I couldn’t try and run away from myself anymore. Couldn’t try and avoid who I was anymore.’ I was like, ‘What if I just surrender? What about if I just accept it?’ It was quiet. It wasn’t a loud moment, but I just kind of let go for the first time, I think, in my life.”
He added, “I didn’t really know what was next. I didn’t really know the next steps, but that was the beginning of the journey of finding acceptance.”
Appleton’s ex-girlfriend Katie Katon was the one who traced his phone and called an ambulance. Appleton dated Katon, with whom he shares son Billy and daughter Kitty-Blu, from age 19 to 26, when their “relationship broke down.” The hairstylist said during Wednesday’s podcast episode that he “started to explore” his sexuality after their split.
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“I was shamed my whole life. That’s why I wasn’t authentically myself,” Appleton added. “But when you’re not aligned internally and externally, it’s just a really sad place to be.”
(If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.)
Keep scrolling for Appleton’s honest quotes about his sexuality from his “Viall Files” appearance:
When Did Chris Appleton Start His Career?
Appleton recalled being “bullied really aggressively” during the early days of his career after taking a job at a hair salon at age 13. The stereotype at the time was that “anyone that worked in a hair salon” was gay. Appleton had not yet come out.
“It was bad. I was spat on, beaten up. Not for anything other than just people assumed I was gay because I did hair,” he said.
Appleton noted that he was “so fixated on proving everyone wrong” that he repressed his sexuality.
“I really abandoned myself. At a very young age, I left who I was and that little kid that needed just to know it’d be OK, and got focused,” Appleton explained. “That really helped me in my career, absolutely, but personally, it was a terrible thing.”
Why Did Chris Appleton Move to America?
Appleton relocated from the U.K. after coming out as gay because he “felt so ashamed” about leaving his past life with a girlfriend and two kids.
“I ran away, I moved to America. Yes, I would say it was for my job. Absolutely. There was a big motivation,” he explained. “I got to delete my roots. I got to be like, ‘I’m not that guy.’”
Did Chris Appleton Know He Was Gay?
The hairstylist explained that he didn’t always know he was gay.
“When I was having sex, I wasn’t thinking of guys. I wasn’t watching gay porn. I wasn’t secretly meeting up with men,” Appleton explained. “I was happy. I was doing my thing.”
How Did Chris Appleton Come Out to His Kids?
Appleton’s biggest concern about coming out to his two children was causing them “pain.” He called it his “biggest failure” and felt “so much shame” about how his sexuality would impact their lives.
“Kids can be really nasty. So I felt like I was bringing that pain to them,” he recalled. “That broke me. I just was like, ‘It would be better if their dad was dead than if they had a gay dad.’ I genuinely believed that.”
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When he did sit down with the kids, Appleton “couldn’t say it” to them. When he eventually told them, Appleton recalled his son feeling “confused” while his daughter was more “upset” and wanted her dad to “be OK.”
Where Does Chris Appleton Stand With His Ex-Girlfriend Katie Katon?
Appleton said that he and Katon are “still best friends” and have “a great relationship” even though they’re no longer together.
“We still talk all the time, and it’s real love,” he explained. “We have an unconditional love, I believe, because we have these two kids who, despite it being dysfunctional, it works.”
Is Chris Appleton in a Relationship Now?
Following his 2023 split from ex-husband Lukas Gage, Appleton has been single for two years.
“I think going for it publicly is obviously quite intense. Everyone having an opinion on your private life,” he said of his past romance. “It was just about going right through it.”
Appleton has since changed what he’s looking for in a partner, noting that “actions [speak] louder than words.” He’s also more cautious when it comes to new relationships.
“I’m a little bit more reflective. I think about where I’m at in my life. What I need in my life. What would be aligned. What would work,” he said. “When you figure that out, the sad truth is that the pool of people is way smaller, but you’re way more selective.”
