Mary Earps had the world quite literally at her feet.
A Euros winner with the Lionesses at Wembley, a World Cup finalist, keeper of the tournament, challenger-in-chief to the sports giant Nike, which didn’t release the female England keeper shirt for general sale and then did a U-turn, and of course, BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
So when she called time on her England career earlier this year, just a few weeks out from the European championships in Switzerland, few saw it coming. But she did.
In the months before, with no assurances from the England set up that she was at least in the fight for England’s number one jersey, and a feeling that she had already been sidelined in favour of Hannah Hampton, she walked away.
“It was definitely maddening in the sense that that sort of situation can play with your mental health and the way you feel about yourself, and you start questioning everything. What am I doing? What have I done wrong? What can I do better?
“And those were the questions I was asking because I was desperately trying to get clarity. It was definitely affecting the way I felt about myself, like my self-worth in a way.
“It seemed like the best thing to do was, you know, remove myself from the situation. And I think the way it played out was the way it was meant to be… the girls went on to have a fantastic tournament and won.”
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Hoping to draw a line
While she no longer has a close relationship with England coach Sarina Wiegman, Earps hopes that one day they can be friendly again.
”I think that hopefully we will have a conversation in the future, and after everything settles down, we can just draw a line under everything.
“But when we last spoke, I saw her at the Ballon d’Or, and at St George’s Park, we both acknowledged that you know we had a difference of opinion and a difference of perspective on certain things.
“We weren’t quite seeing things the same way, but that doesn’t take away from the memories we’ve shared and the respect that’s there certainly from my side.”
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‘A completely different perspective’
So Earps, reportedly the world’s highest-paid women’s goalkeeper, watched from her sofa as the Lionesses defended the title she had helped win the first time round.
“It was a completely different perspective watching it from my sofa or from the sidelines when I went out and watched but it was one that filled me with immense pride. I’ve known a lot of these girls for a long time, so I saw them more than I saw my own family at times.
“And you know, to watch them go on and achieve back-to-back European championships was incredible. Yeah, I was proud.”
In her memoir, out this week, Earps doesn’t talk too much about the relationship with Hannah Hampton in the England camp, but there is some criticism of the Chelsea player’s behaviour.
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So what was it like to watch Hampton wear “her shirt” and do so well?
“I don’t see it as my shirt. I think I wore that shirt for a period of time. I spent more time earning it than I did wearing it, and I think that journey’s come to an end.
“I think she did a great job and the team went on to win. And for me, I love seeing goalkeepers win. That’s a big part of what I do. Everything I do on and off the pitch really is about trying to make goalkeeping cool, trying to put goalkeeping on the map.”
Earps talks about her sexuality for the first time, publicly talking about her partner Kitty, and admits it was hard to talk about and write down.
“Truth be told, I didn’t want to talk about my relationship. I’ve always tried to keep my personal, professional life separate. I think I’ve signed up to this life in a way, and I wanted to protect the people that haven’t – friends, family, loved ones.
“But it would be inauthentic to write a book and discuss all the things I discuss and be so open about everything but the most important relationship in my life and the person who’s helped me become who I am. She’s a huge part of my life.”
The 32-year-old has a year left on her contract at PSG and is thinking about the future and life after football.
In the summer, when England were busy winning the Euros without her, she was having her eggs frozen.
“It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’ve obviously put my body and mind through a lot playing this beautiful game that I love, and I think one of the fears that I’ve had is that maybe I wouldn’t be able to have kids.
“And you never know until you try, and I think that knowing that I’m in my 30s now and trying to give myself the best chance… and not knowing when I’m going to want to maybe take that step to have to try to have a family.
“I wanted to give myself the best possible chance. I would, if I had an ideal world, do it after my career.”
Focus on winning
For now though, her focus is on winning things with PSG and their upcoming Champions League match against her old club Manchester United. She hopes she’ll get a good reception and that the fans remember what she’s achieved.
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Earps says she doesn’t forget a moment of that historic Euros victory at Wembley in 2022, and, although she struggled with the unexpected fame that came after, she remembers every detail of the day and how it changed the women’s game forever.
“But for me, for all the things that I’ve done, it’s been the most fulfilling.
“Paving the way for people, creating better conditions and better circumstances, and helping to make sure that the girls that come next don’t face the same obstacles that I did and don’t have to push through the doors and break down the brick walls that I had to.”
