The alleged stalker of Madeleine McCann’s family had a “genuine belief” she was the missing girl, a court heard.
Julia Wandelt, 24, from Lubin, south-west Poland, denied claiming to be Madeleine for attention or financial gain on Monday.
She told the trial that she is still questioning her identity now.
Wandelt says she “could only remember abuse” after experiences with her step-grandfather, adding she “could not be able to heal from my trauma if I never fully know who I am”.
Prosecutors accuse Wandelt of peddling the myth she was Madeleine, who went missing aged three on holiday in Portugal, in 2007, by sending emails, making phone calls and turning up at the address of parents Kate and Gerry McCann.
She says she self-harmed and attempted to take her own life after she was abused by the step-grandfather.
Wandelt told the court her father told her, in 2022, that the man who abused her had “been involved in kidnapping”, so she searched databases for missing people.
After being asked if anyone matched her, she replied: “There were not actually a lot of people my age or around my age, but that is how I found Madeleine.”
Asked about her motivation, she added: “I just wanted to find out who I am. I could not be able to heal from my trauma if I never fully know who I am, what happened to me and if my parents are my parents.”
‘I think I could be Maddie’
Tom Price KC, for the defence, said the defendant had a “genuine and honestly held belief she is Madeleine McCann”.
The court heard she emailed the parents of the missing girl, on 24 June, 2022, a message that read: “Hello I’m writing you because I think I could be Madeleine McCann, the reason why I think I could be Maddie.
“One, I saw the pictures when I was younger, I had the mark on my eye, it’s a little faded now.”
She then goes on to give a number of reasons as to why she believes she may be the missing girl.
This includes that her “documents” might be faked and she may be younger, that her parents would not show her her birth certificate and that she lacks memories before she was nine.
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She added that a talk with a psychologist made her question her life.
‘I realised I only remember abuse’
Wandelt told jurors, “she made me reflect on my life more and think about everything that happened. I realised I only remember abuse. My friends, they could remember things”.
She continued: “I started with asking questions because I just could not believe there was nothing else in the story of what happened to me.
“I started asking my parents about everything. What are your blood groups? Is there anything else happened to me you don’t tell me about?”
Asked if she still questions her identity, she replied: “Yes, I do.”
‘I didn’t expect them to refuse’
She claims her parents, who she alleges refused a DNA test, had a different appearance from her, with dark hair and eyes.
Wandelt said: “It made me feel a bit surprised because I didn’t expect them to refuse, especially because at that time I still dealt with a lot of emotional problems.”
Wandelt and her co-defendant, Karen Spragg, 61, of Caerau, Cardiff, both deny one count of stalking between June 2022 and February this year.
The trial continues.
