Real Housewives often go through relatable ordeals — divorce, family drama, health issues, etc. — but they’re very rarely relatable themselves. Sure, they might get nervous about running into an ex-husband (or his first wife) in public, but they can recover in the comfort of their private jets.
Not so with Heather Gay, the down-to-earth good time girl who brings a much-needed sense of normalcy to The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Recall the time she woke up on a girls’ trip in a pile of loose Milk Duds, or the moment she threw up in a plastic bag on a Sprinter van. She may wear Gucci corsets and Louis Vuitton handbags, but it’s still easy to imagine yourself knocking back a few tequila sodas with her in a dive bar. (It’s safe to say she has never once ordered a drink “carcass out.”)
“I would say our talents are unseen and hard to articulate, but it is there, and it is something you either have or you don’t have,” Gay, 51, exclusively tells Us Weekly for the annual Reality Stars of the Year issue. “You have to be on your toes. You have to catch the strays. You have to flip them back. You have to be able to speak your mind in heated situations with cameras on you, and that is difficult if you know what you’re supposed to say. It’s a million times more difficult if you have no idea what to say.”
As Bravo fans know, Gay definitely has whatever “it” is. She is responsible for the most dramatic moment in RHOSLC history: the season 4 unmasking of former costar Monica Garcia as the mastermind behind gossip account Reality Von Tease. The scene where she broke the news to a windblown Meredith Marks, Whitney Rose and Lisa Barlow on a beach in Bermuda has become the stuff of reality TV legend, with Bravo honcho Andy Cohen himself telling Us it was “one of the best single episodes of television in Bravo history.”
Rumors swirled for months that nothing that good could have been unscripted, but Gay maintains that it was.
“I am a storyteller by nature. It does just flow from my lips,” she explains. “But that was something where I had been thinking for the last couple of hours, like, ‘How am I going to explain everything to my friends?’ Because I was putting it together myself. … Once I knew that I was going to tell them, there wasn’t a moment that I wasn’t thinking in my head, ‘How am I going to explain this? What really happened? How am I going to explain it, and are they going to understand?’”
Heather Gay Hopes to Put ‘RHOSLC’ Black Eye Story to Bed With New Book
Gay became a hero in that moment, but her experience on RHOSLC hasn’t always been so rosy. Some fans turned against her after she initially lied about what caused her black eye in season 2, while others have accused her of being a mean girl. More recently, she’s faced backlash for her weight loss, which she readily admits was aided in part by Ozempic. Asked whether she ever thinks about quitting the show, she replies, “Every day.”
“Just like anytime you hate your job or anytime you hate your friends, anytime you hate your spouse or partner, you think of quitting,” Gay continues. “I think it’s a natural human response. When it gets hard or gets stressful or gets overwhelming or you’re not getting along, you think, ‘I can walk away from all of this and just have peace.’”
Gay hasn’t thrown in the towel just yet, but if she ever does, she has plenty of other irons in the fire. She’s the proprietor of medspa Beauty Lab + Laser and a twice-published author (of the memoirs Bad Mormon and Good Time Girl) — and she recently signed a contract for four novellas and a “long, romantic thriller.”
Her first two books were in part about leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which she did years after getting married in the temple and welcoming three daughters. She says she gets “great satisfaction” from opening up about her experience, adding that she wants to “represent hope for people after Mormonism, and especially for women after Mormonism, to represent a different way and to shine light on hurtful practices that we’ve never been able to talk about.”
‘RHOSLC’ Stars Heather Gay and Whitney Rose’s Ups and Downs
Gay’s books confirm that she wasn’t really the “good time girl” Barlow once claimed she was, but she’s doing her best to make up for lost time. With her youngest daughter in college, Gay is dating again and spending some time focusing on her new chapter as an empty-nester.
“[I want to] just date openly. Have guys pick me up, have guys drop me off. Have parties, have friends come over, have cocktails,” she explains. “I could have done all that with my girls. They were very cool, very evolved, very supportive daughters. It was about me. I just couldn’t be a girlfriend and a mom in the same mental space, and I just was focused on raising my kids. The mom of it all really blocked out any light for dating, and now I just feel like the lights are on and I’m ready to date and I’m ready to have a little me time, and I’m really enjoying it.”
As for the accusation that she’s gotten meaner as she’s gotten skinnier, Gay doesn’t think that’s true — but believes people might be perceiving her differently.
“Any time a pretty girl stands up for herself, she’s a bitch. And when you are heavier and you lead with comedy and you lead with self-deprecation, you’re a lot less threatening,” she says. “I’m as outspoken now as I was when I was 30 pounds heavier, and somehow it reads harsher, I think, when the package isn’t as unthreatening.”
If anything, Gay plans to stand up for herself even more.
The Biggest Revelations From ‘RHOSLC’ Star Heather Gay’s Book ‘Bad Mormon’
“I do have a lot more boundaries now than I had then, and I also have been freaking burned by women on this show and friends,” she says, reflecting on her trajectory since season 1. “So, I was meaner to Bronwyn [Newport] when she came on than I would have been five years ago, because I’ve been burned, and that changes how I am around people. And I think I still love to make friends, and I still try to lead with kindness. But certainly the last six years have hardened me a little bit, and I’ve become a little more cynical, and I like to think a little wiser to the ways of the world.”
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City airs on Bravo Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET. Stream old episodes anytime on Peacock.
To learn more about Gay and the other Reality Stars of the Year, pick up the new issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now.
