Emilie Kiser is reflecting on her therapy journey following the death of her and husband Brady Kiser’s 3-year-old son, Trigg.
“I’m feeling good today. OK, well, when I say I’m feeling good, I just am able to cope and manage it. I don’t actually feel good, if that makes sense,” Emilie explained in a Sunday, September 28, TikTok.
Emilie, who filmed the video in her car, explained that she was driving over to therapy and tends to have “a lot of self-discovery thoughts” while in transit.
“I’m preparing my brain to vomit to her and give her all of my thoughts, so usually causes me on the drive over to get a little bit emotional. Because I’m on the drive over just thinking about how I’m actually going through what I’m going through and when I get that realization I’m like, ‘Just holy s*** I can’t believe this is my life and what I’m going through right now,’” she said, while the video cut to a clip of her walking into the session admitting she was “nervous.”
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As Emilie returned to the car after therapy, the influencer — who has amassed more than 4.8 million followers on the platform — shared that she tends to feel “nervous” before her session but ultimately thinks it was “worth it.”
“Today we just talked about, basically, everything that has happened. It’s obviously been hard. There’s no doubt about that. It’s been really hard to deal with. And then on top of that, dealing with the grief and the sadness and the loss and the literal hole that we feel in our lives,” she said. “That’s about it. I definitely feel better.”
She continued, “I feel like a lot of my life — I wouldn’t say I’ve been anti-therapy, I just had a hard time with therapy. A lot of my adulthood I was like, ‘I don’t need therapy. I don’t want to go. I’m not going. I don’t need that.’ But like I said, every time I leave, I always am like, ‘That was worth it.’ I feel so much better going into my day.”
Emilie shared that the process is “emotionally draining,” explaining that there’s “a lot to unpack.”
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“A lot of people say that. You just feel emotionally tired after therapy. So usually I’ll go do something that feeds back into my cup,” she said. “I’m only a few months into therapy now and I will say that it does help a lot. My mindset is different, the way I think is different. I have coping mechanisms and tools to get through certain things that I maybe didn’t logically have before. I recommend and I love you guys.”
Emilie captioned the video, “Grateful for therapy each week🤎 Hope you all had a great weekend🍰✨.”
The Chandler, Arizona, Police Department confirmed to Us Weekly in May that Trigg died at age 3 after being pulled unconscious from the family’s backyard pool. In July, authorities submitted a criminal charge recommendation for Brady, who was home when the incident occurred. A statement shared by the Maricopa County Attorney’s Office later said there was “no likelihood of conviction.”
In August, Emilie broke her silence on Trigg’s death. “Loss of this magnitude feels impossible to put into words,” Emilie wrote via Instagram at the time. “I’ve spent days, weeks, months trying to find them and also take the time I’ve needed to digest the loss of my baby.”
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She continued, “Trigg is our baby and our best friend. The light and spirit he brought into this world was bright, pure, joyful and undeniable. We miss him every second of every day and continuing forward often feels unbearable. I never thought we would experience grief in this way or the pain of losing him so suddenly.”
Emilie, who also shares son Teddy with Brady, returned to TikTok earlier this month. In the video, she wore a necklace that read, “Trigg.”
“I have been offline for the last little bit,” she said at the time. “I’m just doing my best every day to figure this out, figure my life out. I’m just taking it day by day. I’m going to do the same with my content.”
