WRITTEN BY EMILY MORRISON
When it comes to deciding where to go to school, our children have been as different as apples, oranges, and cantaloupes. My oldest made a spreadsheet, my middle child watched YouTube, and my youngest, who graduates this year, opened some mail. They all took a different approach to looking at colleges, but responded the same way whenever I asked them where they were looking.
“I don’t know, but I’ll figure it out on my own.”
So, I decided to hone my approach this last time around and share some strategies that have saved me a few tears and eye-rolls this fall.
Help them isolate their top priority.
Every kid has something that turns their dials up to 10. As a parent, you know what seems most important to your child. Share what you’ve noticed, but also ask them what’s on their list of priorities. Whether they write down those “must have” attributes or talk it through with you, helping your kiddo figure out what to focus on is the first step. Do they want to go somewhere small or big? Rural or urban? Liberal arts or trade school? Online or in person? Near or far? Once you have a starting point, it’s a whole lot easier to begin the search.
You can’t do all of the research.
It may seem obvious, but you’re not the one signing up. You can suggest some good schools, but they’ll have to figure out whether or not they’re a good fit. Taking virtual tours and spending time online helps, but if your child picks a school some distance away, it might be easier to set up a Zoom meeting with a current student or an admissions counselor. By all means, help them network. Again, you can do some of the research, but they have to be a part of the process, or they will have no ownership in the decision.
Figure out the finances.
Unfortunately, the cost of a college education is way too high in this country. I can’t speak globally, but for my three kids to attend a moderately priced American university, my husband and I need to find a way to come up with roughly $200,000 (and that’s after their loans, financial aid, and scholarships), so the sooner you have a conversation about what’s doable, the easier it will be to make a list of possible schools. Discuss how much you’ll pay and/or how much you expect your kiddo to pay, and make sure you submit the FAFSA and determine your estimated contribution.
Encourage them to apply early.
The earlier, the better. It’s nice to know what options are available before they have to commit. Our first child applied early decision, as did our second, but it will be a Christmas miracle if our youngest sends in his applications by January. If you encourage your child to submit their applications in the fall, they will thank you when their friends decide April vacation is a good time to start thinking about college. Also, remind them it’s okay to apply to a “reach school.” It’s okay to dream big, but start dreaming early!
Figuring out where to go to school feels like it’s a huge decision, but honestly, places are what you make them. What they put into school will determine what they get out of it. Wherever they decide, your child will find they can be happy almost anywhere. And so can you, as long as they call home once in a while.
