Tell Me Lies star Tom Ellis is reflecting on his first marriage to Tamzin Outhwaite — and what he learned about himself in the relationship.
When asked how he began to embrace and talk about his imperfections, Ellis, 46, said on the Wednesday, September 3, episode of the “How to Fail” podcast, “Life hadn’t gone the way I thought it would, basically.”
“I was out of a marriage that didn’t work. I think you learn a lot through that process,” he continued. “You have to go through a lot of soul searching. You have to kind of be very honest with yourself. Out of that hardship, I was a much, I guess, more resilient, stronger person. Also, I was much more open to being vulnerable. I cry so much more than I used to.”
Ellis shared that he was “obsessed” with the idea of having a “perfect life,” noting that his parents married “very young.”
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“I was surrounded by this notion of how it should be. When it didn’t work out like that, I realized I still existed and breathed. I still was a person, I still had things to offer,” he shared. “I had to be open and honest about my failings in order to move forward.”
When asked whether he has “regret” about anything, Ellis replied, “I think it’s easy to say you regret things, but actually, no I don’t.”
“I wish it had been easier. I wish things had been easier sometimes in life, but I don’t regret anything. Because I think that anytime I made a choice or decided something or felt the way I felt, that’s how I was feeling at the time. I wasn’t pretending,” he said. “I went into everything with great intentions and so no, I don’t have regrets.”
Ellis has since moved on with Meaghan Oppenheimer, whom he tied the knot with in 2019 and welcomed daughter Dolly in 2023. The pair collaborated on Tell Me Lies, a show that Oppenheimer, 39, created and Ellis starred on as Oliver. (Ellis is also dad to children Flo, 17, and Marnie, 13 — whom he shares with Outhwaite — and Nora, 20, from a previous relationship.)
“We have a huge amount of respect for each other outside of loving each other,” he said of their working relationship. “A lot of people would think that working on a show like Tell Me Lies that I did last year with her — which is a show about sexual toxicity and there’s very explicit scenes within it — I think a lot of people would think, ‘Isn’t that strange that you’re doing that and your wife is sitting there watching it?’”
He continued, “Which I can appreciate, but actually it wasn’t. I felt safe doing that and I felt safe because she is really, really good at separating church and state.”
