Tamra Judge is sharing a glimpse into her emotional therapy sessions.
On the Thursday, July 10, episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County, cameras rolled as Tamra, 57, spoke to a therapist about the struggles in her life.
“I’m so afraid that if I get close to people, they’ll turn on me so I just keep a wall up so I don’t get too close,” the reality star said through tears. “I have very few people that I can really talk to. … I just don’t want to lash out when I’m mad even if someone’s done me wrong. I want to fix things.”
Throughout her 15 seasons on Bravo’s hit reality show, Tamra has found herself getting into tense confrontations with several costars, including Jennifer Pedranti, Jeana Keough, Vicki Gunvalson and Shannon Beador.
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In season 19, she is expected to find herself in a feud with returning cast member Gretchen Rossi.
As for why she decided to try therapy, Tamra said she wanted to learn tools to better control her emotions.
“I realized that you have to dig up those things that are buried deep inside of you because those are the things that come out when you get angry,” she said in a confessional interview. “The custody battle that my ex put me through, my daughter leaving me, my dad leaving us … it’s hard and I never really wanted to do it and here I am.”
Before tying the knot with Eddie Judge in June 2013, Tamra was married to Simon Barney from 1998 to 2011. The exes share Sidney, 25, Spencer, 24, and Sophia, 20. (Tamra and Sidney are currently estranged.)
During her therapy session, Tamra also addressed the moment she revealed on her iHeartRadio “Two T’s in a Pod” podcast that she was on the spectrum.
While both Tamra and her therapist agreed it was too soon to determine an official diagnosis, the public backlash proved to be a lot for the podcast host.
“I misspoke,” she admitted. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I just got annihilated publicly.”
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Although viewers know that Tamra never likes to look weak or play the victim, she hopes fans can see a new side of her as season 19 begins to play out.
“People think that I don’t have feelings and it’s not true,” Tamra continued in a confessional interview. “I’m tired of being called a horrible human being because I’m not.”
The Real Housewives of Orange County airs on Bravo Thursdays at 9 p.m. Stream old episodes anytime on Peacock.
