The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reunion gave Whitney Leavitt‘s husband, Conner Leavitt, the platform to open up about how his experience with sexual abuse contributed to his porn addiction.
During the Hulu special, which started streaming on Tuesday, July 1, a never-before-seen clip showed a conversation between Whitney, 32, and Conner about their move to Hawaii before season 1.
“I kind of missed that because I feel like we ran away from something,” Whitney told Conner, who said he didn’t “want to lie” anymore about what caused issues in their marriage. In a behind-the-scenes video from a confessional, producers asked Conner if he felt “comfortable” speaking out about his past.
“I had a really big problem with pornography. On top of that, I had a presence on a dating website — not because I didn’t love my wife — but because I felt like I needed validation,” he explained. “I needed to get help. So we started going to therapy and trying to figure out why — and I knew why.”
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Conner revealed that he only shared this information “with Whitney, my therapist and my family” before addressing it on screen.
“When I was a little boy, I was raped. When I was finally honest with that emotion and that memory, everything made sense,” he said in the emotional joint interview with Whitney. “The validation I needed … I hate that I did that to you. But I’m so proud that I was able to be honest with you and start working through some really, really hard stuff.”
In the deleted scene, Conner explained why he felt like addressing his trauma turns him “into a victim,” even though he blamed himself for how his subsequent actions hurt Whitney.
“These were actions I took. I had a real problem,” he noted. “It led to something that really hurt my wife. I’m so sorry.”
Conner was offered the chance to elaborate at the reunion special. He asked to read a letter he wrote to viewers because of the emotional subject matter.
“That was a very difficult part of my past and something I’ve worked hard to heal from. It still hurts. I know so many people carry experiences like that — even though they may not talk about them,” he said. “For me, those experiences shaped me and developed really destructive habits. But they don’t define who I am today.”
As Conner was reading his thoughts, the rest of the Mormon Wives cast — and their husbands — were seen in tears.
“What matters is how we grow, how we find resilience and how we support each other moving forward. And if anyone listening has been through something similar, I want them to know that I am sorry and healing is possible,” Conner continued. ”Your story doesn’t end with what happened to you. Thank you for the time.”
Conner received an outpouring of love in response to the emotional moment. Jessi Ngatikaura’s husband, Jordan Ngatikaura, told Conner that he is going to “help a lot of people” by sharing the work he put into his mental health and marriage.
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Conner’s fellow DadTok members Dakota Mortensen, Jace Terry and Jacob Neely all walked over to hug him — as did Taylor Frankie Paul. Once Jen Affleck and Zac Affleck joined the group, she was filmed crying and telling Conner how strong he was. (Mikayla Matthews, meanwhile, revealed later in the special that Conner’s candidness inspired her to discuss her history as a victim of sexual abuse in season 2 of the show.)
Host Nick Viall also asked Whitney how Conner’s honesty brought them closer together.
“I think anyone in this room could say that Conner is such a rare guy. He’s just so amazing and perfect in every way for me. I’m just so grateful that both of us have worked so hard to have what we have today,” she said while wiping away tears. “Not that we’re perfect. Obviously, we still fight because we’re human.”
She continued: “But we’ve worked so hard to what we have today that I know both of us would literally do anything to continue to cherish that.”
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reunion is currently streaming on Hulu.
