Toxic masculinity is having a long moment, and the dark misogynistic subculture of “the manosphere” — covered brilliantly (and heartbreakingly) in the Netflix hit Adolescence — seems to garner new headlines every day. But here at Us, we’re hopeful that dangerous socalled male role models like Andrew Tate won’t win out: Whether by design or coincidence, a growing group of famous men are demonstrating emotional vulnerability, and showing boys it’s good to talk, hug and be in touch with their feelings.
Take Penn Badgley. Sure, his character in You is the ultimate toxic male (he literally stalks and murders women he claims to love), but off-screen, the actor isn’t afraid to talk openly about his mental health, including a topic few celebrity men have spoken about publicly: past body dysmorphia. “I know that I hated my body and simply wanted a different one,” the Gossip Girl alum recently told The Guardian. “There was just a period where, coming out of depression and isolation, I was jumping wilfully into, but also being thrust into, this world where the more conventionally beautiful I seemed, the more successful I might be, the more value I might have.”
Another star who takes pride in being in touch with and open about his feelings is Dawson’s Creek star James Van Der Beek — and not just via that notorious “crying face” meme. The actor has used social media to open up about his cancer diagnosis (which he got in 2023 and revealed in 2024), reflect on parenting challenges and talk about grieving his mom, who died in 2020. “Being a real man means being strong enough to be empathetic,” he shared on Instagram in 2019. “To be sensitive. To be caring, kind, and confident enough to appreciate and nurture your feminine side.”
In a world in which boys can feel pressured by social media trends like “looksmaxxing” — which encourages guys to maximize their physical appearance, sometimes by drastic measures like surgery — and there is a so-called male loneliness epidemic, role models like Badgley and Van Der Beek are crucial.
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“When high-profile men with big platforms open up about their emotions and their struggles, it sends a powerful message to young men that vulnerability is part of manhood and that it is normal, not something to fear,” psychologist and male allyship leader Lee Chambers tells Us. Witnessing successful men getting vulnerable, struggling with their mental health, warring with their bodies and dealing with personal trauma, all while still being loved and respected, is a huge deal — and could make all the difference for future generations.
“Men and boys who embrace sensitivity find it easier to understand themselves, express who they are and seek support if they need it,” says Chambers. “Having visible men sharing their challenges removes some of the stigma that exists, and showcases that masculinity doesn’t have to be one-dimensional and solely focused on dominance and control. Young men today need a variety of men showing up as themselves, which gives them permission to explore who they are and bring that version of themselves to the world.”
If the boy in your life isn’t convinced, you can show him that some of the most glamorous women in the world are attracted to “sensitive types.” Look at Kylie Jenner being head over heels for Timothée Chalamet, or Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, who’s always spoken openly about his struggles with anxiety.
Shawn Mendes, Prince Harry and Olympian Michael Phelps are just a few of the other superfamous dudes who have shared their experience with anxiety and depression. Being in touch with your feelings is hot, and real men are emotionally complex.
