Michelle Obama says that therapy is helping her adjust to life as an “empty nester.”
The former first lady, 61, spoke about her mental health on “The On Purpose With Jay Shetty” podcast on Monday, April 28. “’At this phase of my life, I’m in therapy right now because I’m transitioning, you know?” she said. “I’m 60 years old, I’ve finished a really hard thing in my life with my family intact, I’m an empty nester, my girls are in — you know, they’ve been launched!”
Michelle shares two daughters, Malia, 26, and Sasha, 23, with former president Barack Obama, who she’s been married to since 1992 — and she says that no longer needing to be a hands-on mom or the president’s wife has changed her focus, which sometimes feels unsettling. “Every choice that I’m making is completely mine,” she said. “I now don’t have the excuse of, “Well, my kids need this” or “My husband needs that” or “The country needs that.”‘
She added that she’s trying to “unwind some old habits and sort through some old guilt” as she adjusts to this new era. “So, I’m getting that tune-up for this next phase because I believe this is a whole ‘nother phase in life for me,” she said. “And I now have the wisdom to know — let me go get some coaching while I’m doing it.”
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Michelle was eager to emphasize the importance of therapy for those who can access it. “’I am an advocate of it,” she said. “Everybody needs to find their form of it, the best way they can.”
The author and former attorney is currently doing the rounds to promote her own podcast with her brother Craig Robinson — and, during their numerous interviews, she’s frequently been probed about her marriage to Barack. In an interview with Stephen Bartlett on the Thursday, May 1 episode of his “Diary of a CEO” podcast, she took the opportunity to set the record straight.
“If I were having problems with my husband, everybody would know about it,” she said. “The beauty of my husband and our partnership is that neither one of us was ever really, ever going to quit at it, because that’s not who we are. And I know that about him. He knows that about me.”
She added that she thinks some young couples give up on marriage too soon, because they have unrealistic expectations — and she wants to urge them to try couples therapy first.
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“I talk about these things because I think that people give up too quickly on marriage,” she said. “Because there is so much friction built into the equation. And if you’re not getting help, talking about it, going to therapy, just understanding how things are changing, and how do you continuously renegotiate your relationship with your partner, I just see people quitting. Because they look at me and Barack and go, ‘#couple goals.’ And I’m like, it’s hard.”
