Jax Taylor didn’t shy away from answering questions about his substance abuse battle in his Us Weekly cover story.
When asked how much money he spent on drugs before committing to sobriety, Taylor, 45, admitted, “I think about that sometimes”.
“And I’m like, ‘I could probably buy a house for the amount of money I’ve spent on drugs,’” he continued.. “It’s sickening to me. It’s sad to me.”
Taylor isn’t proud of the power his addiction had over him, adding, “It’s because my parents did not raise this kind of person. This all took place when I left home and I became such a different person. In the beginning — when I was younger — I loved the feel of it. It was getting high. Now, towards the end, I was doing it just to stay awake.”
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The reality star relied on cocaine to get a “quick fix” to his issues. “I personally don’t think I’m an alcoholic. I think they both go hand in hand. So I can’t have a drink,” he told Us. “If I have a drink, I’m looking for a bag of cocaine. So I had to quit both.”
Now, Taylor is more than 100 days sober — but it didn’t come easy to him. While reflecting on his addiction, Taylor clarified how often he would use drugs since skyrocketing to fame after being a cast member on Vanderpump Rules and now The Valley.
“I’ve been in and out of using cocaine for awhile. I wouldn’t use it every single day. There would be months I would take off,” he noted. “And then I would do it like a week here, maybe two times a month or three times a month. It got really bad though. When the divorce started [with my estranged wife Brittany Cartwright], I felt like I was doing it recreationally.”
It took seeking treatment for Taylor to figure out the root of his problems.
“I had all these other issues because I’m masking loneliness. I’m masking the texting women by doing drugs and drinking alcohol. I have all these other issues. So it’s a slow process, which is hard for me because I always look for the quick fix,” he explained. “This is one of those things in life that it’s not a quick fix. You have to work at it. I’m not used to that.”
Taylor continued: “This is not gonna work that way. That’s not how addiction, sickness and mental health works. People are like, ‘Jax, you’ve done a lot of freaking damage. Like a lot. And this is just not going to go away anymore. People have had enough.”
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The Bravo personality, however, is focused on doing better for his 3-year-old son, Cruz. “My life has changed dramatically. I’m probably the healthiest I’ve ever been, I feel the best I’ve ever been,” he revealed. “And I don’t put myself in situations I’m not comfortable with. I know it’s weird because I do own a bar, but I’m a very strong person. If I say I’m not going to do something, I’m not going to do it.”
Taylor credits Cruz for being his motivation, adding, “I solely believe that I’m only here right now because of him. He’s the light of my life, my everything, my angel, my heartbeat. Everything I do is for him. He’s the reason I went to rehab. I want to be here for him the rest of my life. I want him to go, my dad had a problem, he confronted it, he was open about it. If he can be proud of me for that, that would be amazing.”
For more on Taylor’s journey to recovery, watch the exclusive video above and pick up the latest issue of Us Weekly — on newsstands now.
With reporting by Amanda Williams
