Allison Holker detailed in her new book how the death of Stephen “tWitch” Boss has impacted their children — especially 8-year-old Maddox.
“The indelible bruise that he and his siblings will carry in their hearts is hard to bear,” Holker, 36, wrote in This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light, which was released on Tuesday, February 4. “It is gut-wrenching that despite his best intentions, Stephen passed on his generational trauma to his only son.”
tWitch died by suicide at age 40 in December 2022. He is survived by Holker, along with their two kids, Maddox and Zaia, 4. (Holker is also the mother of 16-year-old Weslie whom she shares with an ex and was raised by tWitch.)
When it comes to the aforementioned “generational trauma,” Holker appears to be referring to the “abandonment issues” that tWitch experienced from his own father.
Allison Holker Shares tWitch’s Final Words to Their Eldest Daughter
“He carried invisible scars that he hinted about to me but never directly addressed. His mother and father had never married, and I know he grew up feeling as if his father resented his presence,” she wrote elsewhere in the book. “His feelings of being forsaken or forgotten intensified after his father married another woman, who bore him a son whom he doted on. Stephen internalized his biological dad’s disinterest in him as evidence that he must be fundamentally unlovable.”
Holker detailed in the book how tWitch’s death has impacted Maddox.
“The day after Maddox found out the news about Stephen, he came downstairs dressed in shorts. No matter how cold it gets, I cannot coax him into putting on pants. ‘Please don’t make me,’ he’ll plead,” she wrote. “I would never. If Maddox wants to get revenge on his dead dad by wearing shorts every day for the rest of his life, who am I to stand in his way?”
Allison Holker Read Husband Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’ Journals After His Death
She also wrote that Maddox once asked Weslie to keep the TV on in her bedroom all night.
“He told her that when he didn’t hear her TV, he had to check on her to make sure she was OK. He is able to rest easier with her TV on because the sound offers him assurances that she is there,” Holker wrote. “Since then, Weslie has slept every night with her TV on, which is sweet but also sad.”
The professional dancer explained that she’s “proud” of Maddox’s vulnerabilities but is upset it has to be this way.
“I wish he didn’t have a reason to be anxious that he could be abandoned suddenly by someone to whom he is so deeply attached,” she wrote.
This Far is out now.
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