Lily Allen and husband David Harbour’s respective sobriety journeys impacted their relationship — but only in certain ways.
“We don’t really talk about it,” Allen, 39, told The Times of London in a profile published on Saturday, November 30. “I don’t think I’d ever had sex with anybody not drunk before I got together with him. So that was different for sure.”
She continued with a laugh, “It’s a totally different thing. It’s unavoidable, conscious and real. He had a lot of experience with it, so it’s been helpful to do it with someone that’s long-in-the-tooth in that game.”
Allen married the Stranger Things star, 49, in 2020. He’s been sober for more than 20 years, while Allen recently marked her fifth anniversary without alcohol.
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“Sobriety or addiction is something that I have real-life experience with and can talk truthfully and openly about. Addicts are everywhere. We’re all around you,” Allen told the British newspaper. “We look like your mum, your dad, your kids, your best friends. Coming to terms with that part of yourself can feel incredibly isolating.”
She added, “The journey of sobriety isn’t singular, and it isn’t linear. So if sharing my own experiences and struggles helps even just one person process what they’re going through, then it’s all worth it.”
Lily had first realized that addiction ran “deep in [her] family” after seeing her father, comedian Keith Allen, use cocaine.
“Self-medicating was going to be on the cards,” Lily recalled. “For me, it didn’t really feel like an ‘if,’ it was a ‘when.’”
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After Lily’s marriage to ex-husband Sam Cooper ended in 2016, she reached her breaking point.
“I drank myself into oblivion. I went over to his house and started screaming at him, woke the kids up, you know, really distressed the children,” the “Smile” singer recalled. “They remember that. And they know that I was under the influence then and that it’s important that Mummy avoids getting into those situations.”
Lily and Cooper, 45, share daughters Ethel, 13, and Marnie, 11.
“My kids [now] feel safe,” Lily stressed to The Times. “That’s the main thing for me. I felt very unsafe in my childhood, and my kids feel safe.”
Both of her tween daughters are also aware of her sobriety journey and even understand her commitment to attending weekly AA meetings.
“In fact, they kind of monitor me,” Lily said. “Ethel sometimes will be like, ‘Aren’t you going to one of your meetings?’ ‘I did one online this morning.’ ‘Are you sure?’ They know that it takes work and that it’s something that I have to prioritize.”
If you or anyone you know is facing substance abuse issues, call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for free and confidential information 24/7.
