Rachel Lindsay is at peace with her decision to divorce Bryan Abasolo.
“I think I read this somewhere, I’m not sure, but by the time women decide they want a divorce, they’re done [and] I was done,” Lindsay, 39, told Scott Evans in a YouTube interview posted on Wednesday, July 3. “Doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard or a re-adjustment.”
She added, “It’s still a struggle daily, but emotionally, I felt I was very sure this was what I wanted to do.”
Lindsay met Abasolo, 44, during season 13 of The Bachelorette, where they got engaged during the finale. After four years of marriage, Abasolo filed for divorce as Lindsay sought to rebuild her life as a singleton.
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“I was telling people that I was asexual and antisocial … those first few months,” she added on Wednesday. “I was like, ‘I just want to see my girls. I want to be with them.’ I would get anxiety being in a big crowd because I’d realize, ‘I’m single and people can try and talk to me.’”
The attorney remembered she felt “uncomfortable” when a strange man tried to approach her at a party.
“I thought, ‘What was wrong with me?’ My safety net is done [and] I don’t have my ring on, I don’t have a husband. I’m out here,” she said. “I felt so exposed and vulnerable that I really didn’t go out for days.”
Lindsay learned to conquer her fears several months later during a solo ski trip.
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“I was cold [and] I felt dead on the inside,” Lindsay added. “Slowly but surely, I started to gain my confidence back. I started skiing — I’ve never been skiing in my life — but I, weirdly, was good at it. … People say it’s harder to learn as an adult [but] I wasn’t afraid ‘cause I was in a place where I felt cold. I was like, ‘Oh, you want me to lean into this mountain like I’m falling over? [OK.]’”
Lindsay is in the middle of a contentious divorce with chiropractor Abasolo, who is seeking spousal support. Lindsay responded to his petition, seeking to only provide a smaller sum because they do not live a “glamorous” life.
Even with that reminder of how things can go wrong, the former Bachelorette is now “very open” to dating, so long as a future partner is ambitious in their own right.
“My dating life right now is for fun. I would have to be swept off my feet to really be like, ‘Oh, he’s The One.’ I’m trying to have fun and have a roster,” Lindsay joked on Wednesday. “I do want you to be loyal, have a personality, adventurous, charming and maybe even a little corny. … I want them to be ambitious but also very understanding.”
She added, “My therapist said I have broken wing syndrome. I date guys that I see potential in. I see [that] they are a good person, but maybe they need a little guidance or a little help. Rather than dating the person who is already there.”
