Kim Kardashian has made no secret of the fact that she is finding life as a mom of four tough at times. And while Kardashian’s reality is a little different from your average single mom, she has attracted some sympathy — until now.
On this week’s episode of The Kardashians, Kim, 43, described her birthday with her four kids — North, 10, Saint, 8, Chicago, 6, and Psalm, 5 — as “torture,” and it hasn’t gone down well with some viewers who think she’s selfish and thoughtless for admitting this uncomfortable truth of parenting.
Confiding in her mom Kris Jenner (plus a few million people all over the world), Kardashian said: “I thought my birthday, I’d have the day to myself. I was stuck doing everything that everyone else wanted to do. I was stuck watching YouTube unboxing videos on my birthday, I had a FIFA tournament, Color Me Mine — you should see the ugly thing I made.”
She went on, “Like, this is not what I wanted to be doing on my birthday. I need to sit my kids down and be like: ‘This isn’t Mother’s Day, like, this is my day. Do you think a mom wants to go to Color Me Mine one more time? On her birthday? Whose birthday is it?’”
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Instead, Kardashian says her ideal birthday would involve a lot more peace and quiet. “To lock my door, not get out of my bed, and eat cookies and cream ice cream all day long,” she said when Jenner asked her to describe her perfect day. “That’s what would have been my dream, but no, no one cares about my dreams. Not my kids, at least.”
This is a tough call. In Kardashian’s favor, we know she loves her kids and does plenty of fun stuff with them all the time, so we can see why she might like her birthday to have been a little more adult-oriented.
And yet, come on, this is Kim Kardashian — she leads a life full of special treats all year round that us mere mortals can only dream of. Plus, those kids aren’t babies any more so there’s every chance they could soon hear their famous mother complaining about the reality of parenting, and feel upset. Still, it’s fair to say that there’s some much less kid-appropriate stuff out there about the Kardashians than this. This feels more like a good excuse to criticize Kardashian for not being grateful enough which, as every mom knows, is something the parenting police love to do.
So, let’s be real … kids sometimes do ruin your birthday, and we shouldn’t be afraid to admit it, even if it makes us look selfish.
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The ideal birthday for a mom goes a little something like this: start the day getting smothered in kisses and homemade cards from your brood, before being brought breakfast in bed that, ideally, a competent adult has prepared. Unwrap some charming gifts, then retreat for a long, hot shower and spend time getting pampered and slipping into a special birthday outfit. What happens next depends on what you’re into: perhaps a movie with your partner, lunch with the girls, a shopping trip, a long run or yoga class, followed by a fun, relaxed and/or wild night out at the venue of your choice — bar, fancy restaurant, theater, karaoke joint? Then, the next day of course you get to sleep in, because every experienced mom knows not to cash in this option on the birthday morning itself, it’s the day after that you’ll need it more.
The reality for most moms is more like: start the day getting smothered in peanut butter by your brood, before they fight over who gets to sit next to you while you unwrap charming gifts that you bought and wrapped yourself but have to pretend to be surprised by. Yes, it’s your birthday, so you do get to shower — but there’s every chance a kid will burst in halfway through needing to use the bathroom (and possibly needing your help to do so … ). Next, you will probably find you have signed up to some sort of family day out; it might involve a Kung Fu Panda movie, a sandpit or, in Kardashian’s case, paint; paint that’s almost certainly going to end up on your special birthday outfit. And in the evening… well, in the evening you’re obviously too tired to go out, so you’ll probably order in pizza, and someone will complain about the toppings, and someone will cry, and it might be you.
Unfortunately, when it comes to parenting, especially single parenting, you can’t just opt in to the bits you enjoy. Sure, you kind of knew what you were signing up for when you had kids, but if you’ve always been a birthday princess — and there is surely no bigger birthday princess than anyone with Kardashian in their name — it can take some getting used to.
So, if you don’t have kids, relish those birthdays doing whatever you choose. And if you do have kids, you can sleep safe in the knowledge that even Kim Kardashian has to watch YouTube unboxing videos on her birthday. Just kidding — you have kids, of course you can’t sleep!
