BY CASEY BERNARD
Although times have changed and communities have evolved to be more accepting of LGBTQ+ members of Maine communities, there are still times and situations when LGBTQ+ people do not feel as welcome or accepted in all spaces. For tips on supporting LGBTQ+ friends, family, and community members and creating more welcoming and affirming environments, we spoke with Chris McLaughlin from Inspired Consulting Group, LLC.
McLaughlin is a clinical social worker who specializes in helping businesses and organizations create more inclusive environments through diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging training. He works with a wide range of clients including, but not limited to, schools, healthcare organizations, corporations, and individuals.
As a member of the LGBTQ+ community himself, McLaughlin was working as a therapist and began to specialize in working with LGBTQ+ clients as more colleagues began to refer clients to him based on his background. But he says, “You don’t need to be a member of the LGBTQ+ community to be an effective ally and advocate.”
For businesses, it’s more than hanging a rainbow flag and posting on social media during Pride Month. Gestures coming from the corporate office may convey as more performative and like tokenism if all employees of the company have not been trained how to create safe spaces for LGBTQ+ customers and community members. Leaders may be the best trained and have a desire to create a welcoming space, but if the customer-facing employees do not receive similar training the result may be more harmful to an LGBTQ+ customer who goes to a business expecting one experience based on the outward messaging, but instead is treated unkindly or faces microaggressions. Without training all employees, performative gestures may do more harm than good. McLaughlin suggested business leaders make sure all employees do the work to make sure the messages match the customer’s experience.
Consider how you present your space
In an office or in a virtual meeting space, ask yourself if your space reflects a welcoming environment, or do you have photos or images that may send a message that your area is not welcoming. Political messages or symbols or photos that create a heteronormative atmosphere may tell an LGBTQ+ person that your space is not safe for them.
Be an ally
For individuals, it’s important to understand that allyship is a journey.
“Not everyone is comfortable marching on the steps of Washington to fight for LGBTQ+ rights and that is okay,” said McLaughlin.
A first step to being a supportive friend, colleague, or community member is to educate yourself. Work to understand terms that members of the community use and respect their use of the terms, names, and pronouns. Do not be afraid to ask questions and be willing to learn. If someone uses a phrase that is unfamiliar it is okay to ask questions to learn more, but be open to accepting the definition and willing to use it correctly.
Many resources are available for online training through the organizations listed below. Part of this education should also include learning queer history. Understanding the struggle the community has faced and continues to face can help build empathy and understand the need for support.
Practice the art of the sincere apology if misgendering or using the wrong name. Apologize, thank the person for correcting you, and work to make the change without taking it as a personal attack. Like adjusting to a person’s nickname or new last name, make the adjustment to call the person by the name or pronoun they identify with.
Understand what to do when someone comes out. First, thank them for feeling comfortable to share their story with you. Consider it a compliment because in many cases it takes a lot of courage to come out and to be vulnerable with this personal information. Take them seriously and move forward with respect, following their lead.
Celebrate queer joy. For example, if a reluctant family member finally begins to use preferred pronouns or a trans friend is called “ma’am” or “sir” by a stranger for the first time, these are exciting moments in their lives that deserve celebration. Especially for LGBTQ+ teens, it is important to have an adult in their lives who can be a safe person who celebrates with them.
For more tips and education, visit TheTrevorProject.Org, HRC.org, and Glaad.org. Visit McLaughlin’s website at Inspiredcg.com.
